After call

Why must Sunday comes before Monday? I would have no reason not to enjoy Sunday if only the next day is not Monday.

Yesterday was indeed one of the best on-calls I've ever had. I was at the hospital (particularly in the obstetric recovery room) for 24 hours, observing only 2 post-cesarean section recovering patients, and albeit of the boredom, I at least had the longest soundless sleep in the most comfortable condition I can ever get in the hospital – air conditioned and a nice bed engineered for hospital use.

Since after lunch, I took several long naps in between my patients' injection time, and by 10pm I already laid myself on the bed, reading APO? comic and laugh my ass out silently. The comic kept me up til 12am before I finally woke up at 5am. Before that, I even got the chance to finished up my assignments and watched two DVDs, 'Amelia' and 'Is Anybody There?'.

Then I woke up at a very refreshing Sunday morning, waiting for the shifting. I was so fresh by the time I got home and decided to go to the pasar, but rerouted my direction to the gym. I did break another record of 900cal burned in few sessions of cardio training within almost 2 hours.

In view of the fact that it was still a shiny morning-come-afternoon, and in my gym attire, I went straight to the saloon. OMG, have I told you about things that can turn me orgasmic? Having a really good head and shoulder massage and a hair spa is one of my orgasm factor. Oh well…~

My Sunday is then wrapped up by a nice fine dining with Frente, Dr. Maya and her friend who came all the way from Jakarta, Ian.

Burrpp… excuse moi~

Seems like I have to prepare for Monday now. Good night!

Kamu gelabah!

Betul kata mereka! Kamu adalah golongan orang-orang gelabah. Klau disuruh mendiskripsikan golongan kamu, sudah pasti mereka akan kata 'G.G'.

Awalnya saya tidak mahu menyebelahi mana-mana pihak, pro-kamu maupun anti-kamu. Seperti biasa, segala ura-ura yang tersebar akan saya cuba pastikan sebaik mungkin kerana saya tidak mahu profesionalisme saya dipengaruhi oleh pengalaman orang-orang lain sebelum saya. Saya memilih untuk mengamati dan melalui sendiri justeru membuat kesimpulan saya sendiri -KAMU GELABAH! (dengan huruf besar yang ditebalkan dan diwarnai merah)

Kenapa golongan kamu menjadi sebegitu rupa? Bukankah kamu seharusnya bersikap lebih tenang dan berbahagia dengan tugas dan kewajipan kamu berbanding golongan lain? Seharusnya, kamu adalah kalangan orang yang paling mulia. Tugas kamu adalah untuk membahagiakan orang lain. Kamu adalah orang yang paling sering diucapkan 'terima kasih'. Ruangan kamu adalah yang paling riuh dengan tangisan kegembiraan. Kamu jarang sekali harus memberikan berita duka kepada penderita dan keluarganya (berbanding golongan lain di bahagian lain).

Kamu adalah golongan yang terlampau berprotokol, dan keterlampauan itu adalah suatu sifat negatif walaupun sebenarnya berprotokol adalah sesuatu perkara yang baik. Kamu ekstrimis!

Kamu membelakangkan perasaan orang lain, kamu menjadi seorang yang tidak berhati perut, sifat perikemanusiaan kamu terhakis, kamu seorang pengecut yang seolah-olah sedang berada di arena perang bersama naga-naga khayalan dan sedang berlari mencari tempat persembunyian. Kamu bersembunyi dibelakang orang lain, satu persatu orang itu dilahap naga khayalan mu. Kamu menghembus nafas lega selagi kamu terselamat. Biarkan orang lain yang menderita.

Kamu menghormati golongan atasan kamu sehingga kamu mendahulukan mereka demi kepentingan kamu daripada kepentingan penderita-penderita yang sememangnya tanggungjawab dan kewajipan kamu.

Kamu takutkan golongan atasan kamu sehingga kamu menjadi pemanipulasi data terhebat.

Kamu rela membuat dirimu dibenci orang sekeliling asal kamu selamat dari ancaman atasan mu.

Segala yang kamu kerjakan adalah dengan niat yang terpesong.

Kamu adalah golongan yang tegar!

Saya disini sebagai pemerhati. Memerhatikan senario yang kamu lakonkan, bagus! Berkesan! Sehingga kadang saya ditarik untuk ikut menjadi pelakon tambahan, atau pelakon pembantu. Apa yang mampu saya lakukan, saya ikut didalam senario kamu (kerana saya berada di lokasi), tetapi sebagai direktor untuk watak saya sendiri. Saya tidak akan ikut melakonkan watak keji kamu semata-mata atas arahan direktor ataupun semata-mata untuk menepati skrip. Kerana saya yakin apa yang terjadi adalah di atas kehendakNya, tidak boleh dimanipulasi lagi. Dia lah direktor yang sebenar.

Walaupun apa yang telah saya lalui adalah cuma sedikit penyeksaan mental berbanding mangsa-mangsa lain, tetapi saya akan tetap berhati-hati untuk menghindari diri saya dari terjebak ke zon kamu. Kerana, Setelah 2 minggu bersama kamu dan 3 malam berjaga bersama kamu, di sini dengan hati yang tekad saya ingin menyatakan kesimpulan saya tentang kamu – KAMU GELABAH!

I am yet to find love for the Vs

I woke up yesterday morning with a perplex feeling of an unexplainable state of mind. That was my first day entering the labor room as Dokter Muda and what I thought was the most challenging besides the fact that I had to stay there dreary for 24 hours, was the vaginas. Honestly, that was one of the least favourite thing I have to face as a doctor – I hate looking at vaginas, enough said. The alarm went on, waking me up from slumber and I thought

"Yeah, this is it – the day of which I hope my judgment is proven wrong.

Dear Allah, please make this easy for me and make me do this with love and passion. Amin."

After rejuvenating in a cold shower, I put on the green drape, buttoned up, look at myself in the mirror and found an unfamiliar reflection. Urr… is that me? Hating the mirror, I rushed down for a quick breakfast. Still, I don't feel me in that green medical attire. Not that green was never my favourite color, but I just couldn't find my chi wearing those!

How can I not have the passion for this? Labor room was one of the most frequent reasons why mama went to the hospital. She was there for eight frigging time and not to mention that she succeed every attempt to give birth to all of us – physiologically a.k.a normally! Out of 6 patients rushed to the procedure beds, only TWO who successfully gave birth through their canals normally without having to undergo caesarians. Yes, there were only 2 births within my 24 hours on-call. Since it was my first time there, I didn't get to perform any procedures but only to assist.

So, within yesterday's 24-hour on-call at the labor room, I got to 'enthusiastically' observed 2 births, 1 curettage, watched 2 DVDs (Maid of Honor and My Sister's Keeper) and an estimated of 3 hours sleep.

Alhamdulillah, I manage to like working in the labor room, because it is fully air conditioned. I am yet to find love for vaginas.

Kulit & Kelamin comes to an end

'Lab Kulit & Kelamin' that's what we call it, a.k.a Dermatology and venereology department. Overall, after a month of seeing and learning, I'll rank it 8 out of 10. Where did the other 2 points go? Firstly, the doctors and residents do not teach us much at the clinics. We only learn during our case reports and journal readings which were handled by the senior supervisors.

Secondly, I still got the ooie-gooie-goosebumpings kinda feeling when looking at those skin diseases.

And the other lost of 1 point was because of that one particular supervisor whom sees me as invisible, that for that one particular day at the clinic, I was left mingling around and didn't get a single patient. But it's okay, I'm fine, at least she didn't see me rather than she sees me as a karaoke box that she could 'sing' at all day long, and besides, we were all forewarned by others (seniors) about her strangeness and that she has a pet hate for girls, especially the pretty and trendy ones. Oh, at least this makes me feel good knowing that I got one of her hatred criteria. She is weird, everybody who has been to this department would have known her for her 'unique' behavior.

The best thing about this department is (as always) – the outstation!Oh I forgot to blog about my outstation in Kediri last 3 weeks. Well, we were sent to (actually we went by ourselves) study and gaining experience at a hospital especially for Lepra patients – Rumah Sakit Khusus Kusta, Kediri.I went there with 2 of my Malaysian seniors Kak Keen and Kak Jiha and one of my batch mate, Roula (whom also my outstation mate in Bangil). We were one heck of a nonchalant bunch and that what makes me enjoy Kediri the most. One word to describe it should be "vacation!"

Conversely, it has been a wild rumor about the hospital, that it is haunted but particularly in the kamar dokter muda. We were all freaked out even before we depart from Malang and thus we came to an accord to stay the night at a hotel. It was even more fun cause we rent quite a big room and Kak Keen brought almost a complete 'home' to the room. We got toaster, iron, kettle, bla bla and we had hot shower and luscious breakfast every morning before leaving for the hospital.

Every afternoon after work, we would take the beca around the town. One of the night, Dr.Selamat's son, Pak Wid took us to the arc of Kediri which look a lot like Arc Triomphe of Paris and also around the Sempoerna company's 'dynasty'. We were so well treated that we felt more like tourists instead of students.

About Leprosy, I can't believe that it was way so much easier to learn and remember about the disease once I confront the real life situation of Leprosy patients. I was brazen out on the treatment which I thought was one of the most complicated MDT (multidrug therapy) and I came to mindful awareness of how 'shallow' the public are not-knowing the real pathogenesis of this disease but yet seen it as a 'curse'.

Back to the Malang, the final exam was HARD. I mean, confusing! I am going to re-sit for the paper later and that I got to always recall back of what I've learnt and going through the photos so I can recognize and diagnose better.

One of the funniest thing not to forget was – sabun Wing! (to be elaborated…)

Til here, bubbye Kulit & Kelamin. Welcome Obstetric and gynaecology!

p/s : Excitedly waiting for tomorrow! Mama, Naufal, Nawal & Najat are coming over!!! BEST TAK TERHINGGA!

p/s: HAPPY 27th BIRTHDAY TAYLOR HANSON!!!! xoxo~

Freak – those were the days

Ibu Leny is not around anymore… she has gone to my country to become a TKW and I am here left with psychogenic muscle spasms, cramps, stiffness and aching. I lost my tukang urut. My ibu pijat is not around to massage me and help me release my pains anymore. I miss Ibu Leny with her miraculous hands!

I am now on Hansaplast koyo hangat and Yoko-yoko all over my back, and this has been going on for almost a week! These muscle relaxant appliances can never replace Ibu Leny's hands. Initially, I don't think there is really any muscles stiffness on my body, perhaps as I said earlier it is just me and my psychogenic muscle spasms. Conceivably, it is really a pathological spasms since I was actively (yer yer je active) working out at the gym since the last 2 weeks. Alright, my gastrocnemeus muscles were really tight and I reckon my Achilles would have had ripped off if I continued the 5K run on my forefeet. Consequently, calorie burned drop from supposedly 700cal to 400cal.

Talking about working out, I am now try not to be a freak anymore – yes I was one. During college, I used to run on every evening without missed, even if it was raining, I would go up and down the hostel stairs til I sweat as much as I did on the running track. Shall I call myself a jog freak? Yeah, I freak now to know that I was that freaky…

Then it came to another 'morning ritual' during my second, third and fourth year. I would wake up as early as possible and get on the track, I grabbed every possible opportunity to jog before the class started, and weekends were compulsory! I would usually hit my jogging track (around the rector field) if I had class which on 8am onwards, and I would go as early as 4.30am, the earlier the better. Looking back at those days, I can't believe I was that 'determine' in which again I must say – freaky!

I had endorphins abundantly circulating my blood and profusely secreting those days…(blaming the hormones)

Nowadays, I am trying to be more lenient to myself. I limit myself to 3 times a week at the gym. Although I might have the time to do more than that, I think it will not be significantly necessary though. The frequent I go, the more frequent it will be, the more I burn, the more and more I will burn, to no extend. But once I stop, the momentum will drastically drop, drop, drop and stop. As a result of that, imma ballooning again~ and I'm telling ya that fueling up to get back the momentum is not easy…

I am glad that now, I have Zhaf to guide me. He is my long-distance PT (personal trainer), albeit of having different goals (he is on building abs and burning fats, I am on immune boosting and losing weight), he still being supportive on my long-term workout regimen by sharing his professional skills and never-ending support! And now, every night on our phone conversation, we will have a little talk on health, health products, diets, exercises, and some other sorts. With his advice, I feel more relaxed and compassionate about my body.

Who needs to jog everyday anyway?