Kamu gelabah!

Betul kata mereka! Kamu adalah golongan orang-orang gelabah. Klau disuruh mendiskripsikan golongan kamu, sudah pasti mereka akan kata 'G.G'.

Awalnya saya tidak mahu menyebelahi mana-mana pihak, pro-kamu maupun anti-kamu. Seperti biasa, segala ura-ura yang tersebar akan saya cuba pastikan sebaik mungkin kerana saya tidak mahu profesionalisme saya dipengaruhi oleh pengalaman orang-orang lain sebelum saya. Saya memilih untuk mengamati dan melalui sendiri justeru membuat kesimpulan saya sendiri -KAMU GELABAH! (dengan huruf besar yang ditebalkan dan diwarnai merah)

Kenapa golongan kamu menjadi sebegitu rupa? Bukankah kamu seharusnya bersikap lebih tenang dan berbahagia dengan tugas dan kewajipan kamu berbanding golongan lain? Seharusnya, kamu adalah kalangan orang yang paling mulia. Tugas kamu adalah untuk membahagiakan orang lain. Kamu adalah orang yang paling sering diucapkan 'terima kasih'. Ruangan kamu adalah yang paling riuh dengan tangisan kegembiraan. Kamu jarang sekali harus memberikan berita duka kepada penderita dan keluarganya (berbanding golongan lain di bahagian lain).

Kamu adalah golongan yang terlampau berprotokol, dan keterlampauan itu adalah suatu sifat negatif walaupun sebenarnya berprotokol adalah sesuatu perkara yang baik. Kamu ekstrimis!

Kamu membelakangkan perasaan orang lain, kamu menjadi seorang yang tidak berhati perut, sifat perikemanusiaan kamu terhakis, kamu seorang pengecut yang seolah-olah sedang berada di arena perang bersama naga-naga khayalan dan sedang berlari mencari tempat persembunyian. Kamu bersembunyi dibelakang orang lain, satu persatu orang itu dilahap naga khayalan mu. Kamu menghembus nafas lega selagi kamu terselamat. Biarkan orang lain yang menderita.

Kamu menghormati golongan atasan kamu sehingga kamu mendahulukan mereka demi kepentingan kamu daripada kepentingan penderita-penderita yang sememangnya tanggungjawab dan kewajipan kamu.

Kamu takutkan golongan atasan kamu sehingga kamu menjadi pemanipulasi data terhebat.

Kamu rela membuat dirimu dibenci orang sekeliling asal kamu selamat dari ancaman atasan mu.

Segala yang kamu kerjakan adalah dengan niat yang terpesong.

Kamu adalah golongan yang tegar!

Saya disini sebagai pemerhati. Memerhatikan senario yang kamu lakonkan, bagus! Berkesan! Sehingga kadang saya ditarik untuk ikut menjadi pelakon tambahan, atau pelakon pembantu. Apa yang mampu saya lakukan, saya ikut didalam senario kamu (kerana saya berada di lokasi), tetapi sebagai direktor untuk watak saya sendiri. Saya tidak akan ikut melakonkan watak keji kamu semata-mata atas arahan direktor ataupun semata-mata untuk menepati skrip. Kerana saya yakin apa yang terjadi adalah di atas kehendakNya, tidak boleh dimanipulasi lagi. Dia lah direktor yang sebenar.

Walaupun apa yang telah saya lalui adalah cuma sedikit penyeksaan mental berbanding mangsa-mangsa lain, tetapi saya akan tetap berhati-hati untuk menghindari diri saya dari terjebak ke zon kamu. Kerana, Setelah 2 minggu bersama kamu dan 3 malam berjaga bersama kamu, di sini dengan hati yang tekad saya ingin menyatakan kesimpulan saya tentang kamu – KAMU GELABAH!

I am yet to find love for the Vs

I woke up yesterday morning with a perplex feeling of an unexplainable state of mind. That was my first day entering the labor room as Dokter Muda and what I thought was the most challenging besides the fact that I had to stay there dreary for 24 hours, was the vaginas. Honestly, that was one of the least favourite thing I have to face as a doctor – I hate looking at vaginas, enough said. The alarm went on, waking me up from slumber and I thought

"Yeah, this is it – the day of which I hope my judgment is proven wrong.

Dear Allah, please make this easy for me and make me do this with love and passion. Amin."

After rejuvenating in a cold shower, I put on the green drape, buttoned up, look at myself in the mirror and found an unfamiliar reflection. Urr… is that me? Hating the mirror, I rushed down for a quick breakfast. Still, I don't feel me in that green medical attire. Not that green was never my favourite color, but I just couldn't find my chi wearing those!

How can I not have the passion for this? Labor room was one of the most frequent reasons why mama went to the hospital. She was there for eight frigging time and not to mention that she succeed every attempt to give birth to all of us – physiologically a.k.a normally! Out of 6 patients rushed to the procedure beds, only TWO who successfully gave birth through their canals normally without having to undergo caesarians. Yes, there were only 2 births within my 24 hours on-call. Since it was my first time there, I didn't get to perform any procedures but only to assist.

So, within yesterday's 24-hour on-call at the labor room, I got to 'enthusiastically' observed 2 births, 1 curettage, watched 2 DVDs (Maid of Honor and My Sister's Keeper) and an estimated of 3 hours sleep.

Alhamdulillah, I manage to like working in the labor room, because it is fully air conditioned. I am yet to find love for vaginas.

Kulit & Kelamin comes to an end

'Lab Kulit & Kelamin' that's what we call it, a.k.a Dermatology and venereology department. Overall, after a month of seeing and learning, I'll rank it 8 out of 10. Where did the other 2 points go? Firstly, the doctors and residents do not teach us much at the clinics. We only learn during our case reports and journal readings which were handled by the senior supervisors.

Secondly, I still got the ooie-gooie-goosebumpings kinda feeling when looking at those skin diseases.

And the other lost of 1 point was because of that one particular supervisor whom sees me as invisible, that for that one particular day at the clinic, I was left mingling around and didn't get a single patient. But it's okay, I'm fine, at least she didn't see me rather than she sees me as a karaoke box that she could 'sing' at all day long, and besides, we were all forewarned by others (seniors) about her strangeness and that she has a pet hate for girls, especially the pretty and trendy ones. Oh, at least this makes me feel good knowing that I got one of her hatred criteria. She is weird, everybody who has been to this department would have known her for her 'unique' behavior.

The best thing about this department is (as always) – the outstation!Oh I forgot to blog about my outstation in Kediri last 3 weeks. Well, we were sent to (actually we went by ourselves) study and gaining experience at a hospital especially for Lepra patients – Rumah Sakit Khusus Kusta, Kediri.I went there with 2 of my Malaysian seniors Kak Keen and Kak Jiha and one of my batch mate, Roula (whom also my outstation mate in Bangil). We were one heck of a nonchalant bunch and that what makes me enjoy Kediri the most. One word to describe it should be "vacation!"

Conversely, it has been a wild rumor about the hospital, that it is haunted but particularly in the kamar dokter muda. We were all freaked out even before we depart from Malang and thus we came to an accord to stay the night at a hotel. It was even more fun cause we rent quite a big room and Kak Keen brought almost a complete 'home' to the room. We got toaster, iron, kettle, bla bla and we had hot shower and luscious breakfast every morning before leaving for the hospital.

Every afternoon after work, we would take the beca around the town. One of the night, Dr.Selamat's son, Pak Wid took us to the arc of Kediri which look a lot like Arc Triomphe of Paris and also around the Sempoerna company's 'dynasty'. We were so well treated that we felt more like tourists instead of students.

About Leprosy, I can't believe that it was way so much easier to learn and remember about the disease once I confront the real life situation of Leprosy patients. I was brazen out on the treatment which I thought was one of the most complicated MDT (multidrug therapy) and I came to mindful awareness of how 'shallow' the public are not-knowing the real pathogenesis of this disease but yet seen it as a 'curse'.

Back to the Malang, the final exam was HARD. I mean, confusing! I am going to re-sit for the paper later and that I got to always recall back of what I've learnt and going through the photos so I can recognize and diagnose better.

One of the funniest thing not to forget was – sabun Wing! (to be elaborated…)

Til here, bubbye Kulit & Kelamin. Welcome Obstetric and gynaecology!

p/s : Excitedly waiting for tomorrow! Mama, Naufal, Nawal & Najat are coming over!!! BEST TAK TERHINGGA!

p/s: HAPPY 27th BIRTHDAY TAYLOR HANSON!!!! xoxo~

Freak – those were the days

Ibu Leny is not around anymore… she has gone to my country to become a TKW and I am here left with psychogenic muscle spasms, cramps, stiffness and aching. I lost my tukang urut. My ibu pijat is not around to massage me and help me release my pains anymore. I miss Ibu Leny with her miraculous hands!

I am now on Hansaplast koyo hangat and Yoko-yoko all over my back, and this has been going on for almost a week! These muscle relaxant appliances can never replace Ibu Leny's hands. Initially, I don't think there is really any muscles stiffness on my body, perhaps as I said earlier it is just me and my psychogenic muscle spasms. Conceivably, it is really a pathological spasms since I was actively (yer yer je active) working out at the gym since the last 2 weeks. Alright, my gastrocnemeus muscles were really tight and I reckon my Achilles would have had ripped off if I continued the 5K run on my forefeet. Consequently, calorie burned drop from supposedly 700cal to 400cal.

Talking about working out, I am now try not to be a freak anymore – yes I was one. During college, I used to run on every evening without missed, even if it was raining, I would go up and down the hostel stairs til I sweat as much as I did on the running track. Shall I call myself a jog freak? Yeah, I freak now to know that I was that freaky…

Then it came to another 'morning ritual' during my second, third and fourth year. I would wake up as early as possible and get on the track, I grabbed every possible opportunity to jog before the class started, and weekends were compulsory! I would usually hit my jogging track (around the rector field) if I had class which on 8am onwards, and I would go as early as 4.30am, the earlier the better. Looking back at those days, I can't believe I was that 'determine' in which again I must say – freaky!

I had endorphins abundantly circulating my blood and profusely secreting those days…(blaming the hormones)

Nowadays, I am trying to be more lenient to myself. I limit myself to 3 times a week at the gym. Although I might have the time to do more than that, I think it will not be significantly necessary though. The frequent I go, the more frequent it will be, the more I burn, the more and more I will burn, to no extend. But once I stop, the momentum will drastically drop, drop, drop and stop. As a result of that, imma ballooning again~ and I'm telling ya that fueling up to get back the momentum is not easy…

I am glad that now, I have Zhaf to guide me. He is my long-distance PT (personal trainer), albeit of having different goals (he is on building abs and burning fats, I am on immune boosting and losing weight), he still being supportive on my long-term workout regimen by sharing his professional skills and never-ending support! And now, every night on our phone conversation, we will have a little talk on health, health products, diets, exercises, and some other sorts. With his advice, I feel more relaxed and compassionate about my body.

Who needs to jog everyday anyway?

Iota #21 - Til the sun is out on Sunday

I was trying to blog since the sun rose this morning… this empty page was all awaited to be jotted. I was kinda busy, yet after all the busy-ness is done, I turn bored. Then I come back to this empty sheet of virtual paper, but couldn't get myself a grip of the keys, yet I'm still wondering if there's anything good I can do to kill the boredom.

And now, til the sun is out, Sunday entry is left undone.

But all the important note I want to keep for today is – I am contented, the house is clean! and I am more delighted to have had clean it without the existence of the other two of my housemates, in which with their existence won't make any difference, but a further annoyed-turned-anguish of their ignorance of our house's hygiene.

This is the most sincere and truthful I can be. I can't wait to miss you when you're gone! I hope I will, yeah maybe, somehow…

Luscious lunch

0600 : The last scene of my dream last night (this morning) was weirdly a gigantic flying whale. Hence, I open my eyes and waken up by the luminosity of the sunlight through the brownish curtains straight sun-drenching my bed.

"Alamak, dah terang!"

Dragging my feet to the windows, bolt the curtains to the edge and staggered by the intense sun light with a dazzling heat right on my face. As if God is mad… as I missed the subuh prayer. *dengan nada penuh kekesalan*

I had no time to waste, this morning has to be a quick one! This room needs an intensive-spring-cleaning session. It's been a week since I left for Kendiri, the luggage was still full of dirty laundry, the clean clothes were still freshly packed in the plastic bags waiting to be arranged in the closet, the bags and handbags were mountaining on the other corner of the room, the book shelves were dusty (nampak sangat dah lama tak baca buku), and this study table was in a disastrous mess!

With only a mug of plain water for breakfast, tuck my hair up and started to sort out my dirty laundry and fold them neatly before dunking them into the laundry bag. First step settled! And so went the next few steps until everything is completely done! Then I can look at my room, breathe, and say "Aaah~".

0730 : One hour left til my lunch date (the lunch date was in Surabaya, a 2-hour drive away), therefore we had to get ready earlier than other Malang people who are probably busy preparing breakfast still.

Boiled some water together with a few rosella buds, chopped an apple and dunk it in a bowl together with some cereals and milk. Thus, those were what I called quick-but-with-little-effort breakfast.

0850 : Frente fetched us from home, and hang-out at her house for some time while waiting for Danny, Icha and Hari from their Sunday-prayer.

1130 : Arrived in Hanamasa. Yay!!!

The steamboat buffet and Japanese grills were awesome! Burpp… Alhamdulillah!

The almost three hour lunch was enough to full-filled our tummies. If we all have the tummy-meter, mine would exceed the 'F' mark. Can't remember the last time I had such big feast after the Buka Puasa Buffet at Tupai-Tupai. If I must mentioned this, my family used to have buka puasa at the hotel in which the foods never looked as mouth-watering as ever since my tummy was at the most insatiable gluttonous state due to fasting, and therefore I would take every each of the food and beverage offered in an immensely large quantity, and by chance finished them all (sebab takut nanti mama marah sebab membazir). Consequently, it would very hard for me to ruku' during Maghrib prayer, and I would stay full til sahur the next morning. And so that was the story on how my stomach gets so elastic that it can turned as big as the dustcart a.k.a garbage truck.

1400 : We moved our asses off to Tunjungan Plaza in two separate cars (we came by one car, thank God Dr.Nevy got her big car for the extra ride). Nothing much happened there, but one thing happened for sure – Starbucks therapy! Aww… pity Frente that she only had to swallowed her much accumulated saliva of just looking as us having our tall cups since she has gastritis and caffeine is definitely a no-no.

1800 : From TP to Galaxy Mall. Nothing much happened either, but enjoying our time of togetherness. Got a few pirated DVDs, some drinks and window shopping!

2200 : Head back to Malang and ready for another day of work….

Thanks Frente for the luscious lunch! May God bless you and may all your wishes come true, amin~

IPD comes to an end

Anelene chocolate tastes too milky. I was never a big fan of chocolate milk, though I do like them, but I always think that white milk tastes more real, fresh and cow-ish! And chocolates are suppose to be chocolaty and rich, not milky (argh macam gay!).

Alhamdulillah, IPD (Ilmu Penyakit Dalam @ medical @ internal) department is finally over!!! For God's sake, I've actually been through the 12 weeks? The longest and so-called-hardest department for internship ever. IPD was hard nonetheless, but it's not fair for me to judge, because I have never been to any other departments yet to allow me to compare.

I wish I could write about all my precious experiences over here, but it's better to be visualized (in mind) rather than spending time arrange them into words.

The first month of IPD was as well my first month of internship. It was the hardest point in my life ever so far. The hardship however has made me learn to live and survive but not to escape. First, I always have an inner-issue with respecting people. 'Respect' doesn't have an absolute meaning, it certainly comes in relatively different quantum or level. I respect people respectively and according because I believe different people deserve a different kind of respect despite of their position, status, title or whatsoever.

I believe in the freedom of speech. In which I don't think is a culture here in this country. For me, yes means yes, and vice versa, and the answer varies according to condition, not just because you stand higher than me, I have to say yes to your orders all the time. We're talking about contributing in teamwork here doctors, not on how obey or disobey you are to your senior/chief/boss's orders.

Then, it comes to the responsibility. Have you ever feel the rigidity of hauling a huge responsibility on your back, sometimes it makes you want to cry? Sometimes it makes you think of taking a break, sometimes it makes you feel like joining your patient on their deathbed and resting in peace, sometimes it even comes running across your mind about quitting, and it is so sickening!

Until my last day in that department, I am still phobia to hear the word 'OB' a.k.a Orang Baru a.k.a new patient. When I see another bed is pulled into my ward and when the nurse says "Mbak koas, ada OB", I still get that punched through my heart. It's not a sigh of refuse, but I feel another weight is added into my workload. I wonder how the residents can handle this situation with much more heavier workload…

At times, I was that selfish… One way to keep me going and give my best is when I think of my family and how I want them to be treated. Imagining my parents being treated by an ignorance, selfish and lazy doctor? Memang kena tumbuk doctor tu!!

And in the end of the day, I realized that the more destitutions that come my way, are perhaps another direction to my dream destiny. New patient means another new experience. They come to bring me more knowledge, even at an expected times. Their perplexity teaches us patience, and when they have to go, we know that at least it's the best for them and it doesn't always mean our failure to treat. And what more, I am by some means closer to God…

Knowledge wise, as I've mentioned on my previous entries, these three months experience teaches more than the three semesters of lectures. For this reason, I don't mind if I have to be working in this department again – MAYBE, nah!!

The best thing about being in IPD is because Frente is in it! I wonder how my life in IPD would be without her around. She, who always accompany me with her hilarious jokes (in which only I can instantly understand) and give me guidance and advices on stuff. We're like high school best friends who do stuff together and talk on stuff like music, boys, gossips and etc, and even joking around like nobody else's business, I miss this kind of people in my circle and she is here now.

The first few weekends we've spent driving to Surabaya just to breathe in different air, the coffee sessions most of the evening when we can 'cabut' early, the study-together for exams while enjoying dinner, the piles of books she borrowed me for my assignments and exams, the girls night on new year in Surabaya, the sleepover on her birthday, the KFC-delivery, Indomie goreng, Roti Boy, nasi padang, Baskin Robins, cakes and éclairs, durians and even Starbucks caramel macchiato all the way from Surabaya, and something we both can never forget was the morning before my lab exam, I appreciate the support and the warm hug (and the story behind it that we shall keep it a secret). You're my God-sent!

Despite of the sweetness and hardness, there are not less of bitterness… I've been through countless, and I've overcome every each of it with my own remedy. Sometimes, if a supervisor/resident is not satisfied with me or and get fumed up, I will tell myself that it's okay, might not be my fault, it's just him/her who is having a PMS or family problem, or just not happy with him/herself that he/she just want to break it to someone else.

And talking about my undone assignment, arrgh! Tak boleh diharap punya groupmates!Empat orang muka tak bersalah, tapi masih hutang 2 responsi! GGRrr!

And again, talking about the happiest moment, is today – On my last day, the two close friends are friends again, and they had a big warm hug. I'm glad because somehow I am mutually part of this miracle. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRENTE!!!

Perfect addition

Vanilla mint Listerine tastes a bit of vanilla and I bet the vanilla essence will stay in the bathroom til tomorrow morning. Nah, I prefer the orange flavor nonetheless!

Okay, this entry is suppose has nothing to do with the mouthwash – it's just a prologue (cause I don't like cliché foreword, starting from now, I'll try to write a prologue which has no connection with the main entry).

Hey world, I am 24 now. And I don't feel any different, so it doesn't matter if I am 24 or 42 yea? I am still here on my keyboard, blogging and feel like I am still 23, or perhaps 17. Age really make no difference in my current situation right now. I am stuck in this body of a busy lady struggling to pursue her dreams. I've been in this body-of-a-busy-lady ever since I was 19, and it gets busier by time *sigh*.

I was happier than ever by this time last week. Zuffy came to visit. Though it was such a super short visit, but he never failed to make me beyond-super happy. I envy him… how can he always know how to pleased me? Not that I was only pleased, but I was ecstatically in an extra-dosed-endorphins treatment. I never knew if I can ever create any happiness to him just as how he creates mine.

Before I ever know his existence, I thought my life was perfect, though I may not have everything, but I had enough of the best's. I could be the most arrogant person ever and I was the fan of only-myself. My narcissism was at the highest level (so far, at that time). I have the world's best papa and the most wanted mama, and the merriest siblings one could ever ask for. My friends are a bunch of perfect combination of human beings, my family are the most harmony and I was born and breed under the most favorable hometown.

Then came this man – him. Then was when I realized that I've grown up, cause I met a man and fall in love with. He is the best addition to my so-called-already-perfect life. If I used to have sunny days, he would come and bring me a rainbow, if I used to have starry nights, he would make the moonlight shines brighter. How can I not love this combinations, it makes me sip my life juicier and just right.

To this man, I may have told you how much I love you for so many times, but I swear those words were never adequate neither enough to describe how I am truly feel about you. Thank you for always be yourself and be here for me :)

I showed him my favourite coffee parlor, since we don't have Starbucks in Malang, Java Dancer is the best so far...

He always make 31st January my special day among the 365 days in a year.

On Sunday, my only day off-work, we went to Pasar Minggu and had breakfast there. That's Frente with her post-on-call face. Lumayan... masih bisa tersenyum!

We spent hours at the saloon. He had his so-called 'cheap' director cut and a hair spa, while I enjoyed reflexology by the pond and micromist hairspa.

He sent me off to work and we had lunch date at the hospital.

I was very happy to wake up very early every of the morning while he was here, just to had a quick breakfast together!

His favourite is bakso. Well this is definitely not his bowl! Sejak bile plak Zhaf suka makan sayur kan?

When i meet i *hearts*

Bagaimanakah syaitan lakhnat itu berjaya membuat saya berblog?

It's past 2 in the morning and it's Sunday!

I'm looking forward to be awaken by the sun shining on me this morning. Therefore it's okay not to be asleep by now (yet)…

Okay, sebenarnya dalam otak rasa macam nak blog dalam BM, sebab hari-hari asyik cakap BI and BJ. Jangan salah anggap, BI bukan Bahasa Inggeris, tapi Bhs Indonesia dan BJ pula adalah Bhs Jawa. Jadi sebab itulah saya ada rasa bertanggungjawab untuk mengekalkan kehebatan saya berBM melalui blog untuk entri malam ini.

Awalnya tadi, saya sedang mengerjakan tugas atau lebih dikenali sebagai 'responsi' ataupun assignment gitu. Ok, tipu. Sejujurnya, sebelum berblog, saya berniat untuk mengerjakan tugas itu, tetapi perhatian saya dialihkan oleh beberapa ekor syaitan durjana yang dapat menlelehkan iman saya untuk menjadi rajin supaya saya berblog (Hah, blog ni! Kacau je, biasssse dia!).

Sebenarnya saya memang ada niat itu sejak petang tadi lagi, tetapi saya telah memilih untuk ke saloon kerana saya dambakan urutan kepala dan bahu, serta rambut saya memerlukan sebuah hair spa.

Namun begitu, setelah pulang dari saloon, saya menunaikan niat untuk melakukan assignment dan saya telah berjaya menyelesaikan SATU bab! *tepuk tangan*. Setelah itu, saya terpaksa meninggalkan kerja saya kerana harus pergi menonton filem tengah malam, Sherlock Holmes di Matos (ya, saya terpaksa pergi kerana sudah beli ticket! Klau tak pergikan membazir namanya…). Setelah pulang dari menonton, sekali lagi saya berniat untuk menyambung kerja saya yang terkendala tadi. Tetapi, ya itulah…

Bagaimanakah syaitan2 lakhnat itu berjaya membuat saya berblog?

Ceritanya begini…

Mari mulakan dengan tajuk tugas saya, yaitu Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever. Memang benar saya mempunyai banyak bahan bacaan sebagai revisi, tetapi bahan bacaan saya mungkin terlalu bagus kerana mereka diimport dari negara-negara mat salleh yang maju terletak nun jauh disana sehingga mereka tidak banyak membahaskan tentang Dengue, kerana demam dengue bukanlah satu masalah besar bagi mereka. Padahal di negara ini, angka prevelensi demam dengue amat tinggi sekali. Maklumlah negara-negara di kawasan yang beriklim tropis dan subtropis memang begitu (negara 'endemis' namanya), banyak peluang untuk vektor virus Flavivirus berkembang biak! Mungkin di negara mat salleh yang nun jauh disana, nyamuk Aedes aegypti takde can pun nak bernafas! (Kedinginan mungkin!). Pasal tu la mereka tidak men-detail apabila membincangkan tentang demam Dengue di buku-buku mereka!

Oleh kerana keadaan yang mendesak, saya terpaksa meminta bantuan kawan saya untuk meminjamkan buku-buku tempatan yang banyak membahaskan topik yang berkaitan dengan hal demam dengue ini.

Jadi, Frente, sebagai seorang penuntut spesialis ilmu penyakit dalam datang membawakan saya beberapa bahan untuk tugas saya itu. Dia memberikan saya sebuah beg kertas yang didalamnya bukan sekadar buku, tetapi juga beberapa lembaran penelitian dan beberapa buah buku nota (yang masih baru) berserta dua batang pen. Melihatkan hal tersebut, saya berasa amat terharu kerana dia sangat baik hati untuk meminjamkan saya buku-bukunya juga memberikan saya 3 buah buku nota yang dia dapatkan secara percuma apabila menghadiri seminar pagi tadi.

Setelah keterujaan melanda buat beberapa minit membelek-belek buku nota baru yang berkulitkan iklan ubat, saya teringat bahawa saya masih ada banyak buku nota yang belum terpakai. Ya, banyak sekali! Kemudian, saya mengumpulkan kesemua buku nota yang belum terpakaikan itu, lalu mendapat ide untuk memblog tentang mereka! Maka terciptalah blog ini! Okay, the end of story.

Oops, mungkin belum end yet…

Inilah dia buku-buku nota yang belum terpakai. Sebenarnya, ada yang dah pakai sikit2 waktu clerkship dan panum dulu. Tapi masih banyak helaian kosong yang masih boleh diisi.Saya mengaku bahawa saya adalah seorang pencinta alam! Betul! Saya dapat merasakan perasaan marah apabila melihat kertas, kotak, kadbod dan botol yang dibuang begitu sahaja walaupun keadaan mereka masih sesuai untuk dikitar semula. Saya juga merasa sakit hati apabila melihat orang fotostat hanya menggunakan sebelah muka kertas sahaja padahal mereka boleh memfotostat dengan menggunakan helaian kertas itu secara maksimal. Selain itu, saya rasa macam nak bunuh je organisasi atau administrasi yang berkerja dengan menggunakan begitu banyak unsur kertas. Contohnya, pejabat imigrasi di negara kuno-lapok ini yang masih mengharuskan para aplikator untuk membeli fail kadbod untuk menyimpan data-data yang dituliskan di atas beberapa kertas. Sedangkan, kerja itu tidak sahaja membazir kertas, malah membuang masa dan tenaga. Kalau pakai sistem computer saya yakin perkerjaan mereka akan lebih efektif, efisien dan mersa alam.

Mungkin kerana saya dibesarkan dengan hasil wang kitar semula dan telah ditanamkan sifat untuk mengitar semula. Jangan salah anggap, kedua ibu bapa saya bukanlah orang 'paper lamaaa', tetapi di rumah, kami mempunyai tempat khusus di dalam stor untuk meletakkan barang-barang yang layak untuk dikitar semula dan kami akan ke pusat kitar semula untuk menukarkan 'sampah' kami dengan voucher belanja di pasar raya Giant. Walaupun, kami mengitar semula tanpa mengharapkan voucher belanja itu, kerana kami melakukan dengan ikhlas demi Bumi tercinta.

Sekarang, saya melakukan inisiatif meletakkan dua buah beg plastik di rumah ini untuk meletakkan kertas/kadbod/kotak dan botol kosong untuk dikitar semula. Mulanya beg plastik itu diletakkan di dapur, tetapi kurang mendapat sambutan, kerana masih kelihatan ada dari anggota rumah ini yang masih memberikan nafkah yang tidak patut kedalam tong sampah. Jadi, saya meletakkan beg plastik itu di samping pintu masuk rumah. Semoga housemates saya mempunyai perasaan sayangkan Bumi dan mendapat kesadaran tentang pentingnya kitar semula!

Saya mengaku bahawa saya bukanlah pencinta alam sejati yang sangat dedikasi, tetapi setidaknya saya cuba yang terbaik! Cuma sekarang, saya banyak menggunakan tisu untuk menghembuskan hingus lalu membuangkan ke dalam tong sampah (kerana tisu berhingus tidak patut dikitar semula!). Tetapi, setiap kali itu, saya akan teringatkan mama yang pernah menasihati saya supaya menggunakan sapu tangan apabila selsema dan membasuh sapu tangan itu dan mengambil sapu tangan yang baru dan seterusnya. Mama benar-benar melakukan itu setiap kali dia selsema. Tetapi, saya tidak ada sebegitu banyak sapu tangan...

Eh, kenapa tersasul sampai cerita recycle ni??

Dan ini, adalah buku nota yang saya pakai sehari-hari ditempat kerja. Sudah diisi separuh!

Sudah hampir jam 3 pagi. Saya juga sudah mula mengantuk. Adakah kerana ianya jam 3 saya mengantuk? Atau kerana saya baru mengkonsumsi ubat selsema yang mempunyai efek sedatif? Ya, mana2 juga jawapannya, saya tidak peduli. Saya mau tidur! Selamat malam!

Phew~ as I exhale…

Alhamdulillah I've made it! This is merely a tension micro liberation for this stage of medical intermediate interns.

This morning, I presented my case report on a COPD patient and hence being assessed as examination for this week posting at the pulmo division. Of all the four divisions of internal medicine I've been into for this whole month, I can say that pulmo is the best (yet I have 2 more days to get done with it).

In spite of presenting a case, my finicky-yet-pleasant supervisor also offered a lot of her time for discussion and provide me with facts and information that I have over-looked and disregarded. Although there were a lot of faults and flaws in my case, she never despise any of my points, instead she would grasp of every littlest aspects of my thoughts and make me feel so much appreciated and motivated. Then she gave me chocolates! *grin* (is chocolate means an A?)

When I was on call (last Tuesday night), maybe it was my luck to be working with three amusing residents. I was cleared with my job description and I knew most of the things that was supposed to be under my responsibility. That night was all fine, all patients with lung problems slept quite safe and sound (or perhaps a little wheezing here and there! Hehe).

Around 1am when I was getting ready to sleep (dah baring dah and dah tutup mata pon!), Dr.O came into the kamko (kamar koas) and called me up. I rushed up since I thought we got an emergency call. Then he called me into their office and personally tutored on reading the CxR (Chest X-rays). OMG, I am so truly flattered! Because 1) it was 1am, he just got back to the ward from the emergency dept and all worn-out, but still he spared a few minutes for tutoring me, 2) he found that it was his responsibility to fill me (as his intern) with some skills and knowledge, 3) he was told by Frente to teach me. I owe you Frente!

And even I was on a very bad flu and on the verge of a fever, I was still all-up to be tutored! yeah, even at 1 in the morning! It's his thought to taught that counts! hehe

Every morning I would wake up to have the enthusiasm to work. The pulmo residents for the wards I am in charge too are apart of my motivation. Dr.R thought me on spooling procedure for empyema patient. So today, I successfully did the procedure all by myself without her supervising me, and it gives me the zest! She would also call me up to observe on any procedures scheduled on the operating room. Now I know how FOB (fibre optic bronchoscopy) procedure is like, how to use the spirometry for the pulmonary function test and how the pleural evacuation is done. I am so much hand-in.

Meanwhile, Dr.F, just like his initial, is one heck of friendly and funny resident! On my first day in this division, he personally thought me on reading the CxR. Despite of the cracks of jokes everyday, he is also a very diligent doctor who understand fully of his own responsibilities and mine – so we do our own job mutually but yet concurrently.

Back then, I thought pulmo would be my least favourite (because I was just not interested in lungs and their diseases), nevertheless these people make me feel smart and prepared! Indonesia, albeit 57.1% a better place to encounter with TB (tuberculosis) patient compared to home.If one ask me whether if I am ready to confront a patient, I would say yes to patients with common lung diseases!

p.s : one more reason I like this division is because we had a free lavish lunch buffet this afternoon at the Alveoli!!! (oh yea, they named their meeting hall 'Alveoli', cute uh?)