One left!

As much as I love sleeping, there is time when I have to make myself hate it. Like now.

One paper left. Not too much to read, but too much to memorized. Absurd things that never ran over my mind before. The subject itself is tedious. Enough said. I gotta do this! As much as I always tell myself 'I got to do this' and as much things 'I have done' however is never come to the end of it. It's okay, malas nak fikir…
just do it Bil!!!

In less than one week, this Malang won't be as much the Malang I knew (albeit for few freaking days). Superman is coming to save me. Superman? What a cliché for a superhero?! I mean… my vampire is coming to save me. Oh Edward…~

And soon after my fairytale ended, I'll be back kicking myself in the hospital once again. Waiting anxiously for exam results, while attending a never ending lectures, and going for clerkship to see how doctors save lives where as they have no idea how much this student (me) need to be saved, despite the fact that another never ending final exam is coming so I somehow have to be all geared up, and not forgotten, the final thesis!

At this point, where one last paper for this midsem exam is coming in less than 12 hours, in some way I have to stay awake and study (timed myself til 12 a.m), that's for sure, with no hesitation.

Life for rent

Life is getting too boring. Like seriously~ I mean TOO BORED with capitals and bold. Bored of being busy and tired and lack of fun. I've been doing practically the same thing as I did last week, last month, last year even since the past four years and more.

I've been saying the same phrases,

wearing the same clothes,

meeting the same faces,

going to the same places,

seeing the same cases…

eating the same food,

sleeping of the same reasons,

being in the same moods,

being the same person,

As if this jaded life is some kind of curse or something~

I'm stuck in this body under the program of my own, in which I never thought I would want but I actually did and therefore I'm here… I want to switch life, with anyone! Just anyone! If life is like an array of outfit, I would so much liked to be naked and shopping for a new clothes ('life' I mean). Even if I can't afford the price, maybe I could rent? For a day perhaps?

If only life is like movies… I can pick my characters and play in different appeals all the time. I would totally be under a kicking control of myself and how I'd like myself to be, a rock star, supermodel, Sumo wrestler, strawberry farmer, weatherman, just anyone but Bil. I can't even classify myself right now. Who am I? What am I?

Even if lives could be switched, which silly on Earth would want to trade lives with me and be me?! Okay… admirably, my life is perfect. As if 'perfect' in the least of fundamental aspects a girl could wish for, the normal basics of life, nothing much to offer (yet too many dreams to hold). And now, I am sick of waiting for the time where I can at least be 'The Bil of My Dream'. Come out! Come out wherever you are! I'm tired of this game…!

37 highlighters in 4 years

Look, it is supposed to be this way… [me – reading – emphasizing important keys by highlighting the words – using highlighters].

Suddenly… the highlighter (the pink exactly) ran out of ink. The ink fades since last few days but never did actually ran totally down So, it just did – empty – blast!

Question : And what am I suppose to do?

Answer : Go and take a new pink highlighter and continue reading!

Action : sounds easy… but not that faithfully. So, I thought maybe use a different colour of highlighters. No. Just no. Let me tell you what all these different colors of highlighters distinctively have in meaning.

Pink is for general keys and sentences,
orange is for special or newly found words,
yellow is for headlines,
green is especially for therapeutic cases or drugs names, while
blue and purple have no special indication, they are like extra casts in a play.

Then I realized that so far, for all these 4 years of reading and highlighting, I have finished up to 20 pink highlighters, 6 yellows, 3 oranges and greens, 2 blues and purples, which make a total of 36 highlighters!!! Going to be 37 now… (yes, I do keep track of the numbers of highlighters I use and so do all my other stuff).

I have tones of extra highlighters and other stationeries in my drawer. All bought from Malaysia, not because they don't sell stationeries here, but I'm just too stingy that I'm not sparing my own money to spend on petty things I have to get while I'm here. So I bought bundles of cheap yet satisfying highlighters from Mydin USJ, and so do my favourite most comfortable pens and 0.7 2B lead.

So… the exact thing I did (am doing) when the highlighters 'went off', I on my laptop and blog about it!
Ya Allah, betol2 dah takde life dah aku ni!!! Please someone, come and save me! Tolong… tolong…!!!

This is what studying does to your blog post – craps!
Big crap!! Many craps! As my life evolves just around the study desk and examination hall, my brain starts to rot, alas this is what I wrote – a perpetual nonsensical posts that never a bit important to anyone anywhere at anytime.

Biskut ku…

These are what occasionally found on my desk…

Lecture Handouts

Dictionary

Pink flurry case full of multi coloured marker pens

Multi coloured pens

Multi coloured highlighters

Not forgotten…

Hot drinks (instant coffee, chocs or teh tarik)

Sugar crackers for dipping

Damn I'm on after-evening high calorie snacks. No wonder exam puts an extra 2 kgs on my weight scale. Yet another reason to hate exams!

I used to have Oreos and other sort of higher calorie cookies for dipping before I replace them with crackers. Alas, it has to be sugar crackers since they are the crispiest crackers I could found. Well, it should have been cream crackers instead, but smua cream crackers dkt sini tak sedap! lemauOo!

If I were to write a consumer letter ('IF' lah kan…) I would first address it to Khong Guan Biscuit Factory Indonesia Ltd. and tell them that their sugar puff is delectably lovely and indeed the crunchiest crackers I could find in Malang.

Secondly, I would write to Syarikat Hup Seng (M) Sdn. Bhd tell them how much I miss their creamy, crispy Cream Crackers cap ping pong, and suggest them to import their products here, especially in Malang, Jawa Timur (because Lina in Padang told me that there is the cap ping pong crackers selling there, not fair-nya!!!).

Thirdly, I've wanted to write to this one particular company ever since I was in primary school – Nabisco. I even had the dream of buying the company (kalau kaya lah kan…) so that I can have as much Oreos as I wish. Nevertheless, as time goes by, and I grew older and fatter, I think I'd rather write a complaint letter instead, since Oreos are part of the reason of my permanent fat accumulation! (Ref : Is this the end of Oreo era?)

Sometimes I think I write too much craps… maybe because my magnifying-glass-eyes see littlest thing too deeply, and think too far beyond the limit. Whatchu think??

Done! *back on books*

You don’t always get what you want

Knowing myself as a go-getter, I must admit that I'm kind of an aggressive getter, that whatever I want, I'll make sure I get it, by hook or by crook. However this time I don't think I want to get what I want. Get what I mean? I wish to get this something, however I hope that my wish won't come true, because if it does happen, then I'll lose something – which by the earnest greediness of me to give up over my dead body.

I got tagged in one of Ila's notes, and in there she posted a 1,2,3,4 lyrics by Plain White T's. Aww… now she reminds me of that something I want which I wish I'll never get.

On the deepest side of my sensitivity and romantic-ness, there is actually a room for some music inside. Ever since I fell for Taylor Hanson, I listen to every each of the song he wrote as if they were written for me. That was when I truly madly deeply crazily head over heels for him. Life goes on, he's married even before I graduate highschool and have 4 children now. But my heart is still tuning his song, the room is never hushed. And me, I raised up, thank God my broken heart was easily mend and few years later, I met this one fab guy. He ain't no Taylor Hanson, he doesn't write songs, neither have I heard him singing. Eventually, that room has to be filled with rather different elements but music. He, is the radio-in-the-car kinda guy, one who doesn't have a favourite song. Therefore, my dream of having someone to sweetly sing for me has long been disregarded. Who cares, I have him, and I love everything about him, even without a song… You don't always get what you want.

On his side, I somehow know that he needs a good cook since he has an exclusive and uniquely high-taste tastebuds on his tongue. Eventually for him too, that I'm not a good cook, and cooking is just not my cup of tea. Told ya, you don't always get what you want. But… you can always be happy with what you have!
*smile*

To whoever this Sakina is, you're so lucky babe to get this song dedicated to you.

And to Angie, you get this cute song and cute video all for you??! Not fair!!!

The Angkut Story

*take a break*

Tiba-tiba rasa boring pulak belajar 'Obgyn' – seperti mana yang disebut oleh orang America as 'O-Bee-Gee-Why-N', ntah kenapa dorg kena sebut panjang2, tapi orang Malaysia plak panggil 'Sakit puan', agak kelakar la sebenarnya, tapi orang Indon panggil 'Obgyn' dengan huruf 'B' ber-Qalqolah dan 'N' berdengung. Tapi orang Indon yang tak berapa educated tu pegi beranak dkt bidan jeRrr...

Since pindah belakang hospital ni, nak pegi campus tu menjadi satu masalah plak sebab kena naik angkut. Actually, angkut tu bukan lah masalah sangat sebab angkut bersepah dkt sini, kita tak payah tunggu angkut, tapi angkut yang tunggu kita. Walaupun keadaan angkut tu memang lah teramat pathetic, tapi tak kesah pon. Dulu-dulu masa pergi holiday dekat Jakarta and ternampak angkut, mesti tercakap dalam hati

"ish ish… kesiannya mereka kena naik angkut yg kecik dan buruk dan berhimpit2 mcm tin sardine. I wonder if I would ever get into one of that"

Sekarang rasakan! Naik angkut, seat yg rendah dan kecik rasa mcm tercangkung je. Berhimpit-himpit dengan ibu-ibu dan bapak-bapak yang mungkin menderitai penyakit TB, atau mempunyai Pediculus humanus a.k.a kutu kepala, atau mungkin mereka HIV positive? Lepra? Banyak kemungkinan ada diantara penumpang angkut menderitai penyakit-penyakit berjangkit yang memungkinkan anda terjangkit! Taraa~ Takut tak??! Angkut takde kapasiti maksimum, tapi setakat ni yang pegang rekod satu angkut 16 passengers dan kesemua 16 passengers tu dari batch 2005 lepas habis makan Pizza Hut. Tapi relax je angkut tu jalan, tak semput pun. Tayar dia pon mantap je. Yang penting, supir angkut tu happy dapat banyak duit! Ya, itu yang penting buat semua supir angkut seputar Indonesia! Money money money~

Duit angkut

Talking about money, exam is however not only a burden to the brain and other internal organs, it also cause a prompt tear to the purse! Haa, ni lah salah satu problem time exam – money crisis. Zaman doloe-doloe first time datang sini, harga angkut Rp1300, than naik Rp2000, pastu naik lagi sampai Rp2500. Sekarang, harga minyak dah turun, dia pun turunkan harga angkut jadi Rp2300. Ceh, turun 200 rupiah je?
Peetuihh~ 200rp tu atau sama dengan RM0.06! Alahai, 6 sen jeRRR? Kalau check bawah sofa mungkin boleh dapat 20 kali ganda lebih banyak dari 6 sen.

TAPI…

Bila berada di negara ni, 200rp rasa macam 200 pound sterling. Eh, takde la, tipu je. Tapi 200rp tu ada la rasa macam 20 sen. Jadi, walaupun harga angkut dah turun 6 sen, eh 'mcm 20sen', kita akan tetap rasa rugi besar kalau bayar Rp2500 instead of Rp2300. Sebab supir angkut tu takkan nak bagi balance 200rp tu! Rugi rugi… kalau sekali rugi 200rp, 2 kali naik rugi 400rp, 10 kali naik rugi Rp2000! (Exam selama 2 minggu)

So, untuk mengelakkan 'kerugian besar', I pun dah menyiapkan syilling2 yang banyak sejak sebulan sebelum exam. Kadang-kadang sanggup tukar duit kecik dengan kawan-kawan Indon yang kaya (sebab dorg kan kaya, mane la pandang duit kecik…). Selain itu, suatu purse khas telah disediakan especially untuk letak duit bayar tambang angkut, I pun gulung-gulung la duit Rp1000 x 2 keping. Jadi nanti senang, tak payah kelam-kabut dalam angkut tu cari duit, boleh duduk relax and enjoy the ride~ (enjoyyyy la sangat…)

Satu lagi cara untuk tidak membazir duit banyak sangat, lepas exam I akan menghabiskan masa sepuas-puasnya dekat campus. Seperti makan tengah hari dan menunggu dosen-dosen (lecturers) untuk consult thesis. Tapi sebenarnya tak elok buang masa banyak-banyak, sebab besoknya ada exam lagi. Pendek kata, Rp4600 (tambang pergi balik) dah digunakan sebaik mungkin. Sebab kalau tak, lain kali nak consult thesis kena pergi campus lagi… dan bayar lagi… pokai la camni!!!

Hmm!!~ Cape deh~

One down!

First paper done! It was indeed the funniest paper so far. Not only the paper was funny, but the lecturer who guarded the hall was undeniably entertaining.

About the paper first. THT which stands for Telinga-Hidung-Tenggorokan or what is globally known as ENT. There are total of 60 MCQ (Multiple choice questions) which are repeated from past years' papers (I regret for not studying the question papers since I only seen it for the final one hour before we entered the hall).
There are merely 26 different sets of books coded from A to Z. I got question for set S. I wonder how takde-kejenya-mereka to sort out the questions into 26 different combinations and to manually marks about 100 sets. If you forgot to state down your question code, then you'll be deadly in trouble. Secondly, there are only questions numbers 1 to 10 for all 60 different questions, and we got to blotch it in the OMR paper which numbered 1 to 100. Lu fikir sendiri lah~

About the lecturer who guarded the hall, he seems like he was on a hormonal imbalance. I've heard hilarious yet traumatic stories about him, and I was actually looking forward to witness his elusive jokes (which are supposed to be dead serious). As we were warned of his naturally ambiguous character, everyone was surprisingly on our best sitting position with the most ergonomic posture in the hall (duduk straight, kaki bengkok 90° and muka serious macam nak ambik gambar passport) because he would came out with ridiculous comments (that might be embarrassing) if he sees someone crossing legs or rest their legs on the tray under the chair.

"Hah, KAMU CURANG!",

"Apa ini? Nanti sudah besar kamu korupsi!",

These are few of his reactions when he saw someone started to hold their pencils before the exam starts, or if he sees anyone not on the right sitting position. Tak pasal2! Curang? Korupsi? Hahahahaha tak masuk akal! Ga nyambung deh~ I think he's running out of vocabularies… or he is utterly vague. Or maybe, he is just there sent by God to make our day~ *smile* gRrr~

p/s : Long finger nails are one of my most turned offs.
Disgusting!!! I prefer public-farter or public-nose-picker than someone who
keeps long finger nails. Euh!!

SiCKO

I remember the last time I sobbed in movies was almost 20 years back. I admit that it was such a huge big remorseless embarrassment mistake to weep for 'God Must Be Crazy'. I vividly remember watching it in the Cineplex (the one and only cinema in Subang Jaya by then, which is now Asia Café) with my parents and aunts, in my pajama. I know exactly the reason why I cried watching that stupid movie, but I aint telling… no way!

No movies have ever evoked my lacrimal glands since then, nor there was any movie to perpetually touched my heart. As I am labeled as 'heartless' by my friends for that.

It must be a blue moon tonight. I think I just cried watching this one so-called movie – SiCKO. It's neither a heartbreaking, sad nor gloomy kinda movie, but it's just depressing. Let's not make me spoilt the crème of cake, please make yourself enjoy the sickening yet eye-opening subjects the movie has to offer as I believed that Michael Moore has purpose in making so.

I've actually been exposed to sequels of this movie somewhere around last year during a motivational speech by one of the best motivator in town. Only today, I got to see it on TV, Star Movies to be exact. Do check out your Astro Review for SiCKO schedule. Those who are not into sci-fi or fic, don't worry, it's not. Just a little lovely controversial movie that made me count my blessing even more to be Malaysian and be under the rule of our perceptive government. (Ref : I am a big fan of the Gov.)

Exam datang lagi dengan ‘stress terkawal’

Four days to midterm. As far as anyone's concern, I temporarily meditate myself on this black chair upon pink study desk. Urghh… NO!
Few things are peripatetically mingling around my study time in spite of everything! The preparation for this Saturday's KKN, food stocking for 2 whole weeks (I indeed need another groceries shopping tomorrow), study preparation – post it notes, notes to be Photostated, e-books to find (lecture's immunology is too 'picturistic', I need stories!!!) and last but not least, mental preparation… hopefully no asthma attack (pathetic-nya…). Ref : A-attack

Yesterday undeniably the day of no ass rest. From 6:30am to 11pm. KKN – puskesmas – home – saloon – home – clerkship – home – coffee with Nadine – home – UMNO photography session – the very rare photobox shoot with Kak Dayah, Kak Nad and Sit – Waroeng Subuh – home – gossip session (Kak Nad came for 'sleep'over) – drop dead! *To be notice that 'home' is a super short hiatus of less than 30 minutes for quick meal and prayers. And nothing in between the time is having an earmark for study. Dah la poteng kuliah sbb KKN! @&#^$%!*

Stress masih terkawal... sebab belum start menelaah notes. Kita tengok la nnt...

Iota #12 - Oh April…

This is a foreword before I get underway and drown in this month of April

*ehem*

*ehem again*

Seems like I am going to be speechless. I mean, wordless or typeless or wtv. So hereby, I exclusively reveal some fraction of my personal organizer – the month of April. Hope this clarifies the mystery surrounding my disappearance from the virtual world for a while (if I were about to… – as if~).

Don't miss me okiE?!

*hugs & kisses*