Saturday, February 13, 2010

IPD comes to an end

Anelene chocolate tastes too milky. I was never a big fan of chocolate milk, though I do like them, but I always think that white milk tastes more real, fresh and cow-ish! And chocolates are suppose to be chocolaty and rich, not milky (argh macam gay!).

Alhamdulillah, IPD (Ilmu Penyakit Dalam @ medical @ internal) department is finally over!!! For God's sake, I've actually been through the 12 weeks? The longest and so-called-hardest department for internship ever. IPD was hard nonetheless, but it's not fair for me to judge, because I have never been to any other departments yet to allow me to compare.

I wish I could write about all my precious experiences over here, but it's better to be visualized (in mind) rather than spending time arrange them into words.

The first month of IPD was as well my first month of internship. It was the hardest point in my life ever so far. The hardship however has made me learn to live and survive but not to escape. First, I always have an inner-issue with respecting people. 'Respect' doesn't have an absolute meaning, it certainly comes in relatively different quantum or level. I respect people respectively and according because I believe different people deserve a different kind of respect despite of their position, status, title or whatsoever.

I believe in the freedom of speech. In which I don't think is a culture here in this country. For me, yes means yes, and vice versa, and the answer varies according to condition, not just because you stand higher than me, I have to say yes to your orders all the time. We're talking about contributing in teamwork here doctors, not on how obey or disobey you are to your senior/chief/boss's orders.

Then, it comes to the responsibility. Have you ever feel the rigidity of hauling a huge responsibility on your back, sometimes it makes you want to cry? Sometimes it makes you think of taking a break, sometimes it makes you feel like joining your patient on their deathbed and resting in peace, sometimes it even comes running across your mind about quitting, and it is so sickening!

Until my last day in that department, I am still phobia to hear the word 'OB' a.k.a Orang Baru a.k.a new patient. When I see another bed is pulled into my ward and when the nurse says "Mbak koas, ada OB", I still get that punched through my heart. It's not a sigh of refuse, but I feel another weight is added into my workload. I wonder how the residents can handle this situation with much more heavier workload…

At times, I was that selfish… One way to keep me going and give my best is when I think of my family and how I want them to be treated. Imagining my parents being treated by an ignorance, selfish and lazy doctor? Memang kena tumbuk doctor tu!!

And in the end of the day, I realized that the more destitutions that come my way, are perhaps another direction to my dream destiny. New patient means another new experience. They come to bring me more knowledge, even at an expected times. Their perplexity teaches us patience, and when they have to go, we know that at least it's the best for them and it doesn't always mean our failure to treat. And what more, I am by some means closer to God…

Knowledge wise, as I've mentioned on my previous entries, these three months experience teaches more than the three semesters of lectures. For this reason, I don't mind if I have to be working in this department again – MAYBE, nah!!

The best thing about being in IPD is because Frente is in it! I wonder how my life in IPD would be without her around. She, who always accompany me with her hilarious jokes (in which only I can instantly understand) and give me guidance and advices on stuff. We're like high school best friends who do stuff together and talk on stuff like music, boys, gossips and etc, and even joking around like nobody else's business, I miss this kind of people in my circle and she is here now.

The first few weekends we've spent driving to Surabaya just to breathe in different air, the coffee sessions most of the evening when we can 'cabut' early, the study-together for exams while enjoying dinner, the piles of books she borrowed me for my assignments and exams, the girls night on new year in Surabaya, the sleepover on her birthday, the KFC-delivery, Indomie goreng, Roti Boy, nasi padang, Baskin Robins, cakes and ├ęclairs, durians and even Starbucks caramel macchiato all the way from Surabaya, and something we both can never forget was the morning before my lab exam, I appreciate the support and the warm hug (and the story behind it that we shall keep it a secret). You're my God-sent!

Despite of the sweetness and hardness, there are not less of bitterness… I've been through countless, and I've overcome every each of it with my own remedy. Sometimes, if a supervisor/resident is not satisfied with me or and get fumed up, I will tell myself that it's okay, might not be my fault, it's just him/her who is having a PMS or family problem, or just not happy with him/herself that he/she just want to break it to someone else.

And talking about my undone assignment, arrgh! Tak boleh diharap punya groupmates!Empat orang muka tak bersalah, tapi masih hutang 2 responsi! GGRrr!

And again, talking about the happiest moment, is today – On my last day, the two close friends are friends again, and they had a big warm hug. I'm glad because somehow I am mutually part of this miracle. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRENTE!!!

3 comments:

zaf said...

Im not ur God Sent?hmm..Frustrating..wanna suicide

Bil said...

aww darling, ur an angel! ur not even close to as good as any human! u'r my angel sayang..

Nukilan Orang Buta Hati said...

whaazzappp doc :P

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