Thursday, January 29, 2009

The dragon dance

*Ting ting tong chin cheng*

Sounds familiar… oh my, it's the dragon dance!
I woke up today by the dragon dance's clamors and clatters of their drums, gongs and cymbals. Wow!! I can't be dreaming, this is where I am now, a place of multi cultural and although the 'noise' was interrupting my slumber, but it didn't matter at all! I love to know that I woke up here at home with Chinese neighbors around. It must be my neighbor who invited the dragon troop.

Get up from bed with a little anticipation of catching the live show of dragon dance, but the kitchen came before I could reach the window. There are roti canai and nasi lemak! Waaaa! I miss these nasty fats! Makan makan makan and forgot the whole thing about the dragon dance. Sedapnya~ open up the fridge and found a very sinful piece of Secret Recipe's Cheese cake! I had in fact a spiteful slice…

This is it, and here I am.

Mak’s house

Wow, is this mak's house?!! WOWWWW!!!

This was my breeding crib. the place where I grew up, but now it doesn't look a bit (not even a bit!) like the place I used to call home. Cantiknya!!! After months of renovation and makeover, Mak's house has turned into a very nice modern contemporary house! Thanks to my architect aunt, Maksu who worked hard for it and designing it, awesome!

I stepped into the 'new' house with my 'jakunist' style and heard screaming of the little girls "Ude!!!! Yay, ude dah balik!!!!!", and Maksu was excitedly squeal too when I surprised her in the kitchen. Tapi… mak diam je and senyum. Mak selalu mcm tu, macam takde perasaan, or control ayu and always cool.
Then Aunty-T came with her forever amazed to see how I have grown up especially at certain part of my body which is weirdly has a higher growing rate compared to the other parts.

We spent hours in the house, the adults stayed downstairs, while me and the kids played upstairs. Although the house is not completely done yet, but it is still nice and cozy! The living room has new a leather couch, stereo set, modern grandfather clock and a medium sized flat aquarium hanging on the wall like a picture frame, I call it 'aquarium ikan bilis', while the second living hall has a set of very big and comfortable couches. The kitchen has black tiles and all matching kitchen utensils in metallic with a little laundry by the corner, mak's room is in soothing green, Amy's room is cotton candy purple, the study room is baby blue, and all came with glossy white furniture.

At mak's house, Maksu served us the World's best cendol! You know… the cendol from the mamak at SS15 kiosk (they used to sell in bicycle to vendor's lorry and I once got shitted by a bird while enduring some cendol under the coconuts tree). Arwah atok's favourite cendol. It is legendary, it has been decades and the mamak never failed to get a beeline queuing at their stall. I bet the mamak is now a millionaire. (Laa… cite pasal mamak cendol plak~)

Mak's house, no matter how it is, it is still a home for all of us. I am proud to say that my grandparents were among the pioneer of Subang Jaya. From Singapore to Puchong and ended up here, Subang Jaya – my kampong, my house, my school, my life, is where I found my chi…

(I'll try to get some photos later when I come by again)

Home and its definitions

What is possibly wrong with my head? It was staking pain like hell that I almost shed down in tears and faint. That was the most painful few minutes in my life ever! My head nearly explode and all of sudden a list of differential diagnoses for headache ran across my mind (tgh sakit nak mati pon still nak fikir2 lg!). I think my intracranial pressure was rocketing high and lost its sense of adapting the changing of atmosphere as the 'flying school bus' was approaching the ground.

My flying school bus landed sooner that ETA (estimation time of arrival), but we were stuck on the cabin for minutes due to the heavy rain and lack of red umbrellas to facilitate us to the terminal. Hmm… you get what you pay for. The newly renovated airport is better, if I were to compare it, it is better than Pudu Raya. At least it doesn't look like a cargo container.

My first contentment was to catch him outside the arrival gate. Aww… Edward~

My second contentment was to get the finest Italian dinner of the World's best green fettucine carbonara at Uno's Pizza. I can never thank Jason enough for introducing me to this heavenly diner. Yea, it's better than the Italiannies, told ya it's the world's best carbonara!

Sipping hot and freshly brewed latte by the window in a rainy day was a mellow, but doing that with someone you love is an additional perfection of a melodious rhythm. Until the phone rang. The screen showed 'Mama' and a photo of mom. I answered the phone and it was indeed a screeching voice of Wawa,

"ude dekat mane?! Cepat la balik!!! Kita nak pegi rumah mak",

I was quizzical for a second, how does my home coming and going to my grandma's house are related? Why must I hurry back home when my sister is going to my grandma's house?!

"pegi la, so?"

"mama suruh Ude ikut pegi rumah mak, ade Tok Nah, besok dia dah nak balik Singapore", O – a big O. Yeah, coming!

(read blog entry – Mak's house)


I love riding in the car with my parents. They always have something to chat about. I update myself with our family latest issues by eavesdropping. They used to get mad when we cut in their conversations by asking questions about the subject matter, means we were caught eavesdropping and it's rude. Last evening, they were talking about some fairly adult stuff (a family matter), and I interrupted. No, they didn't get mad, surprisingly! Instead, mama answered my question and in a second, I joined in the chat.

It was 3 days to my 23rd birthday, and I feel accepted as an adult already

Hot showers and air conditioned room are a part of the definition for home. Albeit, 'my room' has been eliminated from the definition since I no longer reside there. My bedroom has turned into an ANTM-like closet, therefore I sleep with my sister or either alone in the guestroom.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Edward Cullen is so hot he melts me!

His stares turn my high density bones into Jell-os.

I reserve this neck to be bitten by my favorite vampire.

Robert Pattinson, oh! *faint*

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Stress-free breakdown

Exams over. Well, not exactly.

Literally it's over – at least for me.

I'm done. Not because I should be done, but I want to get over it. And I always get what I want. Get what I mean?

Maybe I'm doubtingno, I'm not.

Maybe I'm confusedno, I'm sure.

Maybe I'm refusingno, I determined!

Maybe I'm avoiding… (?)

Maybe I… am just having a stress-free breakdown and it's weird. (tak stress pun masalah gak ke?!)

I need to define this perplexity of mixed odd feelings. The feeling of contentment, not exactly a satisfaction, but the ease is soaring up on a low-pitched-high-frequency. I feel fueled –with hydrogen gas, and am certainly on the brink of floating in the air. I fly!

Weird. For the past 2 days, I've been listening to Frank Sinatra, Dianna Ross, Nat King Cole, Micheal Buble, The Carpenters, The Supremes, Grease soundtrack and all those dead people deadly dwindling my ears. What has gotten into me??! Euh!

Weird. I woke up in the middle of the night. Frenziedly jumped out of my bed, clipped my hair up high and was about to take wuduk and pray. But wait, what was the time again? 3 a.m??! Nak sembahyang ape? I feel senile for a moment. Losing the sense of time. Took off my hairclip, and burying myself back in bed.

There's something wrong with my natural alarm clock in my brain. I woke up at the wrong time, but doing the exact same things I do every single day, rushing up here and there chasing over the high-speed time, ensuring everything is fitting dead on schedule – I was programmed. For God's sake, I should be over my schedule by now! I no more have to wake up and run my ass off around or even stick it on the chair for hours nor neither do I have to think of anything. Yeah, I mean anything! Anything anything! I am free to crawl, creep, drag, and dawdle myself however I wish! I am free!

The books are packed, the notes have been stored away, they can't see me already, and I should not be worried of any awful guilt feelings of abandoning them. Get a life nerd!

Sh** I am not a nerd!!! Compared to the previous Bils I know, maybe this Bil is. NO WAY! Urgh!! I'm getting my life back! Demit!

I need to go back home,

and reformat myself.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

In other word

And yet... another way to express my happinessBalik kampung
Balik kampung - by Bil Hanson on

Like almost my every task here is done for now... let's check out my to-dos!

Now my blog has turned into videoblog and photoblog.

I'm running out of words...

I'm tired of explaning.

I'm tired of expressing verbously.

I'm exhausted...

I need a break!

MALAYSIA, here I come baby!! wait for mommy~

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Celebrating the last day of final exams

A picture speaks a thousand words...
How about a sequel of 20+ pictures?
Apparently, this video says "HAPPY"

Iota #7 – 7 to 23

It's a week to my birthday!!!


I have not prepared myself to be 23 yet. I'm too busy preparing myself for the exams, thesis and some immigration stuff. I am not even 23 and yet I have so many things to bear in my head, the load capacity for 32 year old lady.
Oh, I forgot – I'm growing up.

If growing up means stressing up, please send me to Neverland. Please.

This was what I did exactly a year ago – my 7 to 22 was so much fun and hassle free. And yeah again, I am growing up.

And this was 7 after 21

Friday, January 23, 2009

Iota #6 – breathing

Jap jap, nak bernafas…

Okay now I can start.

One : Thanks a whole wide world to the 'Surgery' lecturers who were involved in making questions for the remedial exam (I mean 'copying' the finals' questions) . Cinta kamu banyak sangat!

Two : I wanna breathe this compassionate air.

Three : I can't get enough of breathing… I love the air slithering down my nostril, down down to my bronchus, bronchioles, bronchioluse, alveoli and alveolus. (oh okie, shut up!)

Aaah~ Alhamdulillah…

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Iota #5 - !@#$%^&*(

Ada je!!!

Ade je bende dia nak buat kite tension! Stress! Nak mengamuk!!!/p>

Dah la exam susah macam taik! Dah habis exam pon tak boleh senang… ade pulak remedial! Bila nak fikir pasal remedial, ada pulak KKN bodoh! Eeeeeeeeee, lembapnya!!! Kenapa sekarang baru nak bagitau?! Tak boleh tengok orang senang langsung!!!

Nak register thesis pon one whole day melanguk dkt campus, nak uruskan surat kuasa pun lagi satu hari melangok dkt campus. Nak register KKN pon… ntah la!

Nak balik Malaysia pon mcm2 hal nak buat! Nak stamp date dkt surat pun kena tunggu… procedure mcm sial. Buat ERP pon berulang-alik dkt immigration, tengok muke bapak selenge yang ingat dia power sangat! Dah la kena bayar mahal, tapi kerja tak improve langsung!! Semakin lama semakin menyusahkan orang!!!

Nak bayar tu la, ni la… berlobang purse! Lama2 berlobang otak!

OMG, everything gets on my nerves!

Ni nak nanges nih… mama!!!!!!!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Thesis equipments for SALE!

This is going to be a very very good and cheap deal for those who are looking for a good and low cost TA experiments.

We are all aware that parasit experiment for TA is among the simplest and cheapest. I hereby wanna offer you (those who are really cutting on budgets for TA) my used TA equipments.

Since my experiment equipments are still as good as new and of the best qualities, I think they should be inherited and re-used.

What I have here are :
(refer to the photo posted)

Item no. 1
3 x 5ml spray bottles BOOKED - Kim!!

Selling for Rp2000 each or Rp5000 for all 3

Item no.2
4 x film cases BOOKED - Kim!!

Selling for Rp1500 for all 4

Item no.3
Pink labels (also available in neon orange)

Selling for Rp1000 per sheet of 149 pieces.

Item no.4
1 x 5ml syringe with needle BOOKED - Kim!!

Selling for Rp2000

Unlisted item

Mint Extract 100% concentrated BOOKED - Kim!!

Still good, very very very effective for insecticide.
Research on Mint extract is still wide open for those who are interested. So far, there are only trials for Culex sp. (for insecticide) and Anopheles sp (for larvaside). Knock down trials and insecticides for other species are still available.
Price is negotiable.

Freebies such as 3ml syringe and 6ml syringe will be given for best buyer.

P.s : though my stuff are mostly pinks, but they are suitable for both genders. And hereby I wanna make some confession, guys look hotter in pink!

P.s again : Sales only available in Malang, Jawa Timur, Indonesia. Those in Kuala Lumpur, Manchester, London, Milan, Dublin, Volgograd, I don't think you guys ever need my stuff either...

Sunday, January 18, 2009


Besides sleeping, this is what I doto kill the time...

Berangan di Polyvore memang best. Lama-lama jadi tension jugak sebab ntah bile Polyvore collection I ni boleh jadi kenyataan. Sekarang ni je, nak menyara hidup di Indon dah tersemput-semput. Walaupun ada ratusan ribu, tapi sayang, semuanya dalam Rupiah.

Takper, kita berangan je lah~

My first attempt to Polyvoring...

First date
First date by Bil Hanson
Sweet red
Sweet red by Bil Hanson
Happy Monday
Happy Monday by Bil Hanson

Beach Wedding
Bil's dream - A Beach Wedding by Bil Hanson

Hiatus in my comatose state

Exam is over? This statement however comes with a question mark. I'm now in a comatose state waiting anxiously for the totally full period.

Exam is definitely NOT over yet and I hate to think about it again. This is just a hiatus…

I'm having some sort of delirium thinking about exams all this while and by the end of the day, all I got is whole body aching and mind disorientation. In addition to that, a more specifically diagnosed diseases and illness such as an acute asthma attack, insomnia, severe uterus contraction, flank pain, altered menstrual cycle and a tumor on my neck (this is still a question mark). My stress syndromes are rather a bunch of peculiar barrage, outlandish and most bizarre pattern of disorders. Surprisingly, no headache, no depression, no elevated blood pressure, in short, none of the classical stress syndromes.

My first 'post-exam' treat was to spare limitless of time in front of my laptop pumping up my blog. This blog has undergo a massive make-over sessions and at last, I chose it to wear this new tumbling pink daisy piece. I like it! It's pinkier, simpler, sweeter and pithily ME!

Then I woke up to my most looking forward Saturday morning and hit the gym. Whoa, I can't believe it, 2 weeks break and all these muscles are starting to spasm. It's a time up for the actins and myosins as they got their first most shocking wake up call after 2 weeks of hibernation. Oh my God, did I just said 'actins' and 'myosins'?? Shut up! Get over it!!!

The blood circulation was quite dreadful, it made quite a depraving supply to my brain that I almost drop down and faint! *sigh* could it be my hemoglobin and their oxygen-binding affinity? Or am I having an iron deficiency anemia? Oh btw, my blood pressure was measured as low as 110/65 during my asthma attack. So…~

So, right after the gym, I hit the market for the 6th time (when am I going to stop counting my market visit?! Jakun gile!), and bought some spinach and other greens. It is known that liver and seafood have the best iron supply, but too bad I don't have good supply in my purse… *sob*, a bunch of spinach for Rp1000 is good enough. Oh wait, or maybe…. Maybe I'm lacking of vitamin C! Vitamin C helps iron absorption! I think I already have good iron supply since I include greens in my every meal, so this must be the absorption problem! Now I got it! Going to get more citrus fruits later~

Eerr… now my entry sounds so doctor-ish already, as if I'm writing as a dietitian. *eye rolling*

NO, exam is NOT over yet! *eye rolling again*

Friday, January 16, 2009

Exams over


.... (?)

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Iota #4 – Sussss… shoo*

Mama kata, klau slalu cakap 'Susah', nanti betol2 jadi Susah. Tapi, takde pun cakap perkataan tu, tapi dah memang terjadi.

Bila? TADI! Semalam! Kelmarin! Sejak minggu lepas… tapi especially TADI & SEMALAM.

Pastu nak cakap ape??! Haaa?? Theory mama ni kena revise balik, ade additional conditions.

Hmm…!!! Semoga saya dan kawan-kawan sekalian dapat bersabar dalam menempuhi cubaan yang menimpa kami. Apa salah batch 2005??! Kenapa kita selalu dikenakan dengan kejutan-kejutan kejam yang amat kejam dan mengejutkan? Saya rasa seperti dianiaya.

Saya terkejut. Awak? Terkejut tak? Sabar eh? Lagi 2 hari, pastu kita boleh tengok Indovision. Hahaha (kayaknya ga nyambung deh…)

Waduh, sebel banget!!!

Forensic - kuliah bedah jenazah
Where our mind got dissected and being explored

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Introducing, my first acute asthma attack of the year 2009!
Starting this year, I gonna track down my asthma progression.

The story starts after dinner, around 7:30pm WIB.
I felt something fishy going around my lungs, that fishy feeling is very familiar and it started to crept me out. I seldom get that fishy lungs while I'm here and it scares me cause I might need my dad so badly if the 'thing' gets worse. So, I had half mug of boiling water (supposed it helps), sip it slowly for about 5 minutes, but the lungs seem to get heavier. Then I took a puff of Ventoline inhaler. Waited for 5 minutes, no improvement, then another puff. I wanted to take as much puffs as possible, but only this Saturday (Pharmaco & therapy exam) I read that it shouldn't be taken more than 2 puffs. Thus, I took my second line therapy, a slow onset drug – Ventoline 4mg tablet (orally).
Ouch, that is a lot of Beta-blockers going around my system already! But still, I couldn't wait til the drugs work effectively and efficiently, the inhaler onset is 15 minutes, while the tablet is 30 minutes. I called out Kak Nuzul to bring me to the hospital. I need to be nebulized!

There was me, at the emergency unit, got rushed by the nurses. Hmm… Ape gelabah2 sgt ni? Relax la. I know it's an emergency case, but I've been doing this for my whole life, it's not like I'm going to die. The nurses were efficient, I felt important for a second. I guess the drugs worked eventually, that the nurses couldn't detect my 'wheezing expiratoir' in other word 'this girl is fine!'. I insisted to get nebulized since the lungs are still heavy, so they strolled me inside to the doctor in charge. Thank god the doctor could detect my wheezing lungs. She set up the nebulizer, but Kak Nuzul had to buy me the mask and tube and 2 ampoules of Ventoline (again).

While I was on the ER rush, I suddenly got an sms from Dyen (she misses me and asked when exactly am I coming back to msia). What a coincidence! I was so much thinking of her too, my asthma partner. Lol! As told by the doctor, my asthma has progressed from intermittent to persistent stage, in other word 'it has become worse' – just because I said I wasn't relief with the inhaler, so they thought that I need a higher dosage of Beta blockers, I should have had waited a little longer after the puff before I rushed to the ER. She (the doctor) than wrote me a referral note to the Lung department. Hmm!!

I wonder what triggers this A-attack. I only had Quaker oats and keropok ikan… and I haven't had a good laugh since I can't remember.

While the cause of the A-attack is still an uncertainty, there is however another weird symptom occurred this morning. I had a flank pain on the left of my waist. It was an acute pain of an unknown cause I felt right after the IPD (internal med) exam. I wonder if it's only a psychogenic – the IPD jinx!
IPD jinx??!

In a point of fact, I actually had felt the aura of this asthma attack since early this morning while reading about the Asthma Bronchiale (for exam). I came across reading on one of the etiology of asthma which is 'stress', which left me burst out laughing,

"who the hell so stressed out to proceed to an asthma attack?! Kesian gile! Dah stress, asthma plak tu!"

As time passed by and the exam was heating up, I got a little tensed up and kept telling myself "don't stress, it might develop an asthma", then I was on my very extra careful on controlling my blood pressure. I don't know how I did it, but I guessed I was doing it.

On the other hand, while reading on AKD (Acute Kidney Disease), I remembered I was once thought that I had a kidney problem, but none of the symptoms match my history. Until… I suddenly felt a flank pain on my posterior left waist. O-oh!

So, what is the conclusion of all these acute attack of funny symptoms bombarding me? Remember my very severe uterus contraction? It happened before the Obgyn exam. And this asthma and flank pain happened after the IPD exam. All the symptoms are actually written down in my notes as I was studying them. This is scary already…

Unit Gawat Darurat, Rumah Sakit Saiful Anwar, Malang

Monday, January 12, 2009

Iota #3 - helpline

Have you ever stay at night and found no number in your phonebook to call? Suddenly all numbers disappear, run and hide away from you.

Dialed anyways, and get through the helpline.

Wonder why they call it 'helpline' when it doesn't really help…? Hahaha I think they should get some dictionaries and change the name of that very line. Or maybe create a new word that best describe it, like 'dumbline' or 'lain-lain line'

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Chewed away my Saturday

I shouldn't be so pissed off. I am not. Seriously! La lalala~

Everything that's happening today is utterly my fault (hate to admit it and still wanna blame on the question paper). Okie, yielding up, it-is my fault!

First of all, TBC (M. tuberculosis) is like a culture in Indonesia. It's almost impossible to disaffiliate TBC and Indonesia, bak kata pepatah, seperti isi dan kuku. How can I not know that more than half of the TBC patients worldwide are in Indonesian! How can I not know that approximately 450 thousand cases of TBC are reported yearly nationwide, and that 175 thousand of the citizen died of TBC each year, which take the highest percentage of death of infectious disease! So, how can I not think that this is not a serious case??!!! Come on Bil, be serious. For once, this is not funny!

Maybe it is important to learn about TBC, especially its treatment – pharmacologically! Exactly, but it was on my very awfully least expected case to came out today. I didn't read an iota about it, not even look at the word 'TBC'! Should I now regret this… however, I still think that it's not fair for the lecturers to ask us about it! We learnt that on our previous semester and didn't get a bit review of it on this semester. Not a peak, not a slight smell, not even a single clue, and now that it's burning my pharmacology marks.

So, all I did for that very question no #3 was a total dim which sound a little logical to my brain. I listed all the adverse effects of all drugs in the world, I listed every health advices I could think of, I prescribe as many tablets of Rifampicin and Isoniazid as possible and I was almost blogging on that answer sheet. Shi*!

Another idiotic attempt I did was to put the instruction for every signs in every table I made in that whole answer sheet under a single table - (pemalas punya pasal), e.g :

('+' berarti mempunyai nilai positif, semakin banyak tanda '+' berarti semakin cocok untuk dipakai pada kasus) ß p.s: instruksi ini berlaku buat semua tabel di dalam lebaran jawapan ini.

Little did I realize that every case is marked by different lecturers? I wonder how the other lecturers could get that so-called instruction for my table… Ah, stress! Nak tido la!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Iota #2 - Sweet!

I appreciate sweet and kind deeds (I mean, who on earth would make that a habit to be kind to everyone? The fucking Israelis don't).

Especially guys (specifically no one), do you guys know that every men have their own measurement of sugar output? Too much, too sweet, too bad, and yeah, killing! So guys, know where to spill your honey and choose your pancakes wisely.

Me? I'm on low carbs. I only take serious sugar, not the flirty kinda one. And besides, I have my own sweet candy *wink*

This is how my post looks like during exam weeks. Short!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Iota #1

I just realized that…

I actually don't have any very close-to-heart, all time favourite medical subject!

Do you? Should I find one?

Better get my afternoon nap… Adios~

Spare the children of Gaza

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

I made to diagnose myself

I only discovered that I'm under stress. Honestly, you can't diagnose me of being under stress cause I might not tell the symptoms (cause I don't feel stress). I thought I was mentally and physically fine, like totally~ (despite of the exam snag).

This morning I woke up with a little pain (sakit banyak actually) on my abdominal, lower left quadrant. It's definitely not appendicitis! It can't be gastritis either… so was it my kidney? I reckon. I chose to ignore the pain and hope that it'll reduce by time. However, the stinging got worse til it creeps down to my pelvic region, where the pain went on to my uterus and so. Finally I felt severe contractions on the uterus muscle and the pain was as stinging as period pain! It gets worse when I burp, when I sit, when my intra-abdominal pressure increases. This can't be menstrual pain! I am not having period now! No, that is absolutely not the right diagnose.

So, after a little whining to my housemates (who are also doctors-in-the-making), we made a conclusion that it's 'stress'. I succumbed… this is my so-called stress. The hormones deal simultaneously, got juggled up a bit and play a little disco in my body.

I rather not talk about the pathogenesis of my pain, but it's something to do with the HPA-axis where following my 'so-stressful-situation', the brain (hypothalamus) release the CRH (oh yea, corticotropin – the so-called stress hormone), which in turn stimulates release of ACTH by the pituitary, and the ACTH stimulates my kidney (cortex adrenal) to secrete cortisol. These nasty cortisols make their way to bring out this pain symptoms out of me. But does this process actually cause pain in the abdominal lower left quadrant? Oh wait, I thought I said 'I rather not talk about the pathogenesis of this pain'?!
There she goes… me, with my bloated brain during examination week.

Before I head down to campus, mama called. She saw my status in facebook and maybe was worry about it… oh well, don't worry. I swallowed a single dose of Ponstan (a kind of indometacin, an analgesic drug) that inhibit the pain perception from invading my brain, so it practically helped me to concentrate in exam better this afternoon.

One more thing!!! I just discovered that… I have a tumour!
What??! Wait, getting to the definition of tumour – any abnormal swelling in or on a part of the body – abnormal growth of tissue which may be benign or malignant, I guess I'm right. It is like a small bingo ball bulging on the back of my neck, right side.
Now this is not funny…

If I were to describe it merely with palpation,
it is 1.5cm in diameter (don't ask how I managed to measure it),
and not painful.

What kind of tumour? That I need to go for an FNAB (fine needle aspiration biopsy), and maybe the doctor gotta do some incision. Worse come to worse, it could be cancerous! Waaaa tidakkkkkkkk!!!!

Let's drop it, I have something more important to think of now. (boleh fikir balik lepas exam, masa dkt Malaysia, masa dah takde bende dah nak fikir)

Obgyne exam is tomorrow, and I'll be reading more on uterus contraction. Hmm!!!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Words of absurdity

How on earth can everything be put into short forms?! Argh, these nuisance people are too over 'creative' to create such words to make annoyance out of other people!

I may not have travelled all around the world, but so far from all the countries I've been to, Indonesia has the most words in their language. I don't know if they have a special council managed by the government to guard their language (like DBP – Dewan Bahasa & Pustaka in Msia), but everyone seems to know the meaning of each word.

For instance, Malas means lazy, Muales means too lazy, Muaaales les les means extremely lazy!

These are some examples I found in my IKM (Ilmu Kesehatan Masyarakat = Public Health) notes :

Puskesmas : Pusat Kesehatan Masyarakat

Pustu : Pembantu Pukesmas (refer above)

Polindes : Which I still find the meaning…

Posyandu : Pos Pelayanan Terpadu (once someone translated it as 'postman yang rindu' LOL!)

P2M : Pemberantasan Penyakit Menular

Naker : Tenaga Kerja

SDM : Sumber Daya Manusia

SKN : Sistem Kesehatan Nasional

Alkes : Alat Kesehatan

RM : Rekam Medis (Medical Record)

Kader : Still on search for the meaning…

Kaber : Kamar Bersalin

Depdiknas : departemen pendidikan nasional

Yankes : Pelayanan Kesehatan

RI (er-E) : Republik Indonesia

Gakin : Keluarga Miskin

Balita : Bayi lima tahun

TKW (tay-car-way) : Tenaga Kerja Wanita (your maids)

TKI (Tay-car-E) : Tenaga kerja Indonesia (the contructor workers who built your house)

KLB (Kay-Ell-Bay) : Kejadian Luar biasa (phenomenon)

TKP (Tay-car-pay) : Tempat Kejadian Perkara (crime scene)

And these are some of the terms / words to live by on your daily life :

BT (bay-tey) : Bad Tempered

GR (gay-er) : Gede Rasa (perasan)

Dugem : Dunia gemerlapan (night life @ clubbing – yea I know, like.. OMG!)

ABG (are-bay-gay) : Anak baru gede (teenagers

Waria : Wanita Pria (pondan)

Curhat : Curahan hati (mengadu)

FLU : Feeling Lonely uhhh

Orgil : orang gila

Nasgor : Nasi Goreng

PDKT (pay-day-car-tey) : pendekatan (as if getting close to get to know someone)

TTM : teman tapi mesra

HTS (Har-Tay-Ass) : Hubungan Tanpa Status

Batagor : Bakso Tahu Goreng

Jadul : Jaman dulu (old fashioned)

Gaptek : Gagap teknologi

Lemot : Lemah otak (this is funny!!)

Telmi (tell me?) : Telat mikir (slow thinker)

Jablay : Jarang dibelai (for janda, jomblo/single, etc)

Jaim : Jaga imej

Kuper : kurang pergaulan (loner)

Lem biru : Lempar beli baru (e.g: Hape mu rusak? Lem biru aja!)

These are only about less than 10% of their words-of-absurdity.

Thank god I survived! Still surviving… surviving… surviving!!! breath in, breath out! GO BIL!!!

Oh, and btw, girls, if you're on a BT due to PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome), please don't say that you're on PMS, cause it means Penyakit Menular Seksual here… STD u know~

Okay now, back to study! Final exams start tomorrow. Good luck to myself!

Alamak, dah ngantuk!

Caffeine again

Mama called last night, she thought my exam starts today. Oh yea, there is a slight changes in the schedule, exam starts tomorrow and as consequence, there'll be a paper on Saturday *highly on anger management*.

After she put off the phone, I couldn't help myself but to make some confession to her. I sms-ed her and said that I'm on caffeine for the past week. She replied with a short one something like,

"mama ckp jgn, degil!"

And before I could reply back, the phone rang once again. She asked me to drink a lot of mineral water and if possible to buy the extra oxygenated drink. I don't even understand the chemistry or better off the molecular structure of that 'oxygenated drink', if water is H2O, then what is that? H2O + O2 + O2? Let's drop it.

Well, it's only Nescafe. Like half the population on earth drink it! If it is really that bad, surprisingly there are still coffee commercials on Malaysian TV. This situation sounds sinful that I had to use the word 'confession' to my mom. Call me that naïve, but I just feel comfortable telling my parents what I did bad, so they'd know and don't expect innocent daughter out of me. Thank God they both are understanding, supportive and have good hearts (I mean, they have healthy cardiovascular systems that they won't get heart attack when I say "papa, bil minum kopi")

I know… I learn that caffeine is bad, the word 'caffeine' came out in almost 80% in the predisposition factors for many diseases on the planet. I can say that it's a mild form of tobacco and alcohol, but still within the same 'social group' – addictive substances.

Anyone with Amphetamine? (okay, this utterly a joke!)

This is a part of what I've been up to. So far, I already had 3 cans. And too bad there are another 2 cans in the fridge.

This is a part of my new year resolution I already put in my 2009 agenda. The reinforcement of this new rule however is going to start on the 17th January onwards. I've gotta listen to mama! Good luck!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Me..? as that? what?!

Help, I can't envision my future while reading this pile of notes!

I don't see myself as an ophthalmologist! Glaucoma? Catarax? Strabismus? Retinoblastoma? Sounds more off astronomy to me. I don't know what's so astronomy-ish with the terms, but I found a whole galaxy of unknown. I was never excited about the whole subject no matter how 'hot-and-trendy' the lecturers are, if only I were a boy... (maybe it would motivates me a little). Oh dear patients, I'll refer you to the one who'd love to see your pain with endless list of ideas of what-to-dos.
The eye,
it may be a small percentage of your whole body
(Just two balls of the same size but a little less vital than your testicles),
it may be a small subject to learn,
it may not be so deadly dangerous on injury,
it may not wake the doctors up to rush to your so-called eye emergency,
it may not take a whole crew to tidy up the mess of the surgical procedure
(Lenses surgery is blood-less okay~),
you can still breathe with one eye,
you can still talk with bulging eyeballs,
you can still live without eyes!
You can always learn to read The Braille…
But without eyes, you'll be blind.

And for god's sake, nobody wants to be blind!

Okay, end of story. Now continue reading… For god's sake.

Remember, nobody likes to be blind, nobody wants to have eyeballs looking at different sites, and everybody wants to look good and looking at good things.

So Bil, shut up, shut down, sit back and study!

For everyone, those who don't want to be blind, I'm doing this for YOU!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Nothing of something

My brain was on hibernation this whole evening due a hypoxia state, the oxygen demand on my GIT was tremendous that the other so-called vital organs had to give in. This shouldn't be happening especially at times like this – examination week! Nasi lemak and karipap were the main to blame for this dismal phenomenon.

Waking up early in the morning to cookas I've stated on my previous post, cooking is never my favorite chore. But this time, cooking came in fun and cash. I mean, we're raising fund. Fund for our club which is on money crisis. The critical state of bankruptcy has putting its toll on us, and as responsible club members, we came to an awareness of improving the state. It has to be today somehow…

I've learnt few things today. Especially cooking. I learn how to make karipap. Little did I realize that I grew up with karipap and some sort of other kuih-muih. Back then, my grandparents were kuih monger. I lived with them throughout my childhood and all I knew was to eat. I'm not sure why my grandparents had to set up such business, the process is demanding (my first time karipap making and selling experience was laborious), I wonder how mak lived with it every single day chopping potatoes, platting the dough, and oh yea she did not only make karipap alone but lots of other kuih - everyday! Wow, wonder woman!

Perhaps, that was what keeping my grandparents together til the end. As far as I remember, there never was a problem nor a bit of whining from any of them. And I remember how kind atok was that every morning before he's off to set up his kuih stall, he would stop by to leave some kuih for what we called 'orang gila tepi jalan'. How lucky to be that orang gila to wake up every morning having kuih before his eyes for FOC.

Okay, before I get emotional breakdown, let's not talk about my atok. He's an angel of course and I'm sure he is now living happily among the angels up there.

Talking about the fund raising project… I think we're done for now. I was study-less the whole day and think nothing much of the upcoming exams. I don't regret flinging some effort and hours for the project. Though it doesn't beneficiates me that much, but at least I know the club is moving and this definitely benefits everyone. It may not sound that important, but if it was not us to think about it, who would? Nothing for us to lose, this is something to be proud of, Allah is fair.

This nothing we get is something for them,
and nothing they knew is something we earned.

A big thanks to Kak Dayah, our head chef for the brilliant idea and congratulations to my housemates who had bend over backwards to make ends meet. Let's hit the books now girls!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Genius yang palsu

Selamat Tahun Baru

Sempena tahun baru ini, saya ingin mengucapkan Selamat! Semoga kita selamat pada tahun baru, tahun yang mendatang, dan di dunia dan juga di akhirat. Amin!

Memandangkan sudah lama saya tidak menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia, biarlah hari ini menjadi harinya saya menulis dalam Bahasa Malaysia. Sebab… tak lama lagi saya akan pulang ke Malaysia! Yeeehaaa!!! jadi kena practice ckp BM ke? (Kenapa setiap kali saya menulis dalam BM mesti kena ada alasan? Ntah la labu…)

Saya paling menyampah apabila situasi begini terjadi :

Salah seorang kenalan menegur saya di Facebook Messanger. Tak lah kenalan rapat sangat, tapi rapat lah juga sebab kami sekelas
Orang tu : Halo Bil!

Me : Halo *tOoT* (name cannot be displayed)

Orang tu : Lg apayin? Udah blajar ya?
(What's up? You must have been studying)

Me : Lg facebooking la, chatting ama km jg.. ngapayin? (I'm facebooking and chatting with you too, why?)

Orang tu : udah blajar ya kali.. makanya bs ngobrol2an(must have done studying then, that's why you have time to hangout (on the net))

Me : masih sih… lg stress makanya ak online! Knp? Km g blajar? (Still studying, but stress currently, that's why I'm online. Why? Aren't you studying?)

Orang tu : Waduh, stresss!!! Ak belum mulai lg!!! buanyaaak poUL materinya! OMG, stress! I haven't even started! There are too extremely much to study)

Me : Mulai dong… Cuma tinggal brp hari ni. Ato km emang udh mulai dr dulu, makanya skrg bisa nyantai2 (Go start studying… only few days left (to finals). Or you actually studied (even before the study week) and that's why you can relax now?)

Orang tu : muales soane… ak tipe yg SKS (sistem Kebut Semalam). (the thing is, I'm lazy, I'm the last minute kinda person)

Me : Ok
(then I appear offline)

Dari perbualan di atas, apakah sebenarnya yang cuba dinyatakan oleh kawan saya itu?
Saya seringkali berhadapan dengan perbualan-perbualan tak masuk akal yang menjengkelkan seperti ini. Sampai sekarang saya masih tak faham apa objektif sebenar mereka.

Kenapa mereka suka cakap mereka tak belajar? Padahal duduk dalam bilik pulun buku sampai lunyai. Duduk atas kerusi sampai lebam bontot, lebam mata dan lebam segala-galanya. Ada juga yang menjadikan buku atau kertas-kertas nota sebagai bantal busuk mereka. Tak tidur malam, tak makan, tak mandi, sebab sibuk menelaah pelajaran sampai lupa dunia!

Ini bukan kali pertama saya berhadapan dengan manusia-manusia aneh yang tak mengaku mereka belajar. Sejak dari sekolah dulu saya telah menemukan beberapa manusia yang berperangai sedemikian, lagi-lagi bila saya di Indon yang memang banyak manusia aneh, koleksi kawan-kawan aneh saya bertambah! Mereka ya, memang pelik! Berbeza dengan saya. Saya akan sangat berbangga bila saya belajar. Untuk dapat menahan diri saya di meja belajar dan berhadapan dengan buku-buku pelajaran adalah salah satu kejayaan yang besar dan bermakna buat saya, sebab belajar perlukan pengorbanan, belajar perlukan motivasi dan iman yang kukuh. Jika saya berjaya membuat 'aktiviti belajar', saya amat berbangga dan merasakan diri saya sebagai seorang yang berjaya, bermotivasi dan beriman. Di situ saya tau bahawa dalam diri saya, ada juga sisi yang serious, bukan main-main. Bahkan kadang-kadang saya mengambil gambar bila saya belajar! Alangkah ghairahnya…

Kesimpulan saya tentang perangai makhluk-makhluk aneh yang tak mahu mengaku mereka belajar ini adalah kerana mungkin mereka adalah bukan genius semula jadi, tapi sangat berharapkan orang ramai menganggap mereka genius. Nanti bila keluar results, orang-orang yang 'tak study' ni lah akan mendapat markah paling tinggi. Jadi, orang-orang lain yang tertipu dengan helah mereka akan menganggap mereka ni genius.

"Waahh, tak belajar, tapi dapat markah tinggi! Genius gila!! Whoaaaa hebat!!!" (dgn ekspresi muka :-O cuba taip dekat YM anda, beginilah ekspresi muka kagum tetapi sebenarnya tertipu)

Dan manusia-manusia aneh ini akan berbangga dengan puji-pujian 'genius palsu' yang diberikan itu. Biarlah, asalkan mereka bahagia. Tapi alangkah kesiannya, bak kata orang putih… PATHETIC! u know~

Ini hanyalah suatu hipothesis… kepada yang terasa berperangai pelik dan mempunyai ciri-ciri seperti di atas, mungkin anda boleh menyatakan alasan anda kepada saya. Saya masih 'curious' ni!

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