Sunday, January 24, 2010

Bagaimanakah syaitan lakhnat itu berjaya membuat saya berblog?

It's past 2 in the morning and it's Sunday!

I'm looking forward to be awaken by the sun shining on me this morning. Therefore it's okay not to be asleep by now (yet)…

Okay, sebenarnya dalam otak rasa macam nak blog dalam BM, sebab hari-hari asyik cakap BI and BJ. Jangan salah anggap, BI bukan Bahasa Inggeris, tapi Bhs Indonesia dan BJ pula adalah Bhs Jawa. Jadi sebab itulah saya ada rasa bertanggungjawab untuk mengekalkan kehebatan saya berBM melalui blog untuk entri malam ini.

Awalnya tadi, saya sedang mengerjakan tugas atau lebih dikenali sebagai 'responsi' ataupun assignment gitu. Ok, tipu. Sejujurnya, sebelum berblog, saya berniat untuk mengerjakan tugas itu, tetapi perhatian saya dialihkan oleh beberapa ekor syaitan durjana yang dapat menlelehkan iman saya untuk menjadi rajin supaya saya berblog (Hah, blog ni! Kacau je, biasssse dia!).

Sebenarnya saya memang ada niat itu sejak petang tadi lagi, tetapi saya telah memilih untuk ke saloon kerana saya dambakan urutan kepala dan bahu, serta rambut saya memerlukan sebuah hair spa.

Namun begitu, setelah pulang dari saloon, saya menunaikan niat untuk melakukan assignment dan saya telah berjaya menyelesaikan SATU bab! *tepuk tangan*. Setelah itu, saya terpaksa meninggalkan kerja saya kerana harus pergi menonton filem tengah malam, Sherlock Holmes di Matos (ya, saya terpaksa pergi kerana sudah beli ticket! Klau tak pergikan membazir namanya…). Setelah pulang dari menonton, sekali lagi saya berniat untuk menyambung kerja saya yang terkendala tadi. Tetapi, ya itulah…

Bagaimanakah syaitan2 lakhnat itu berjaya membuat saya berblog?

Ceritanya begini…

Mari mulakan dengan tajuk tugas saya, yaitu Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever. Memang benar saya mempunyai banyak bahan bacaan sebagai revisi, tetapi bahan bacaan saya mungkin terlalu bagus kerana mereka diimport dari negara-negara mat salleh yang maju terletak nun jauh disana sehingga mereka tidak banyak membahaskan tentang Dengue, kerana demam dengue bukanlah satu masalah besar bagi mereka. Padahal di negara ini, angka prevelensi demam dengue amat tinggi sekali. Maklumlah negara-negara di kawasan yang beriklim tropis dan subtropis memang begitu (negara 'endemis' namanya), banyak peluang untuk vektor virus Flavivirus berkembang biak! Mungkin di negara mat salleh yang nun jauh disana, nyamuk Aedes aegypti takde can pun nak bernafas! (Kedinginan mungkin!). Pasal tu la mereka tidak men-detail apabila membincangkan tentang demam Dengue di buku-buku mereka!

Oleh kerana keadaan yang mendesak, saya terpaksa meminta bantuan kawan saya untuk meminjamkan buku-buku tempatan yang banyak membahaskan topik yang berkaitan dengan hal demam dengue ini.

Jadi, Frente, sebagai seorang penuntut spesialis ilmu penyakit dalam datang membawakan saya beberapa bahan untuk tugas saya itu. Dia memberikan saya sebuah beg kertas yang didalamnya bukan sekadar buku, tetapi juga beberapa lembaran penelitian dan beberapa buah buku nota (yang masih baru) berserta dua batang pen. Melihatkan hal tersebut, saya berasa amat terharu kerana dia sangat baik hati untuk meminjamkan saya buku-bukunya juga memberikan saya 3 buah buku nota yang dia dapatkan secara percuma apabila menghadiri seminar pagi tadi.

Setelah keterujaan melanda buat beberapa minit membelek-belek buku nota baru yang berkulitkan iklan ubat, saya teringat bahawa saya masih ada banyak buku nota yang belum terpakai. Ya, banyak sekali! Kemudian, saya mengumpulkan kesemua buku nota yang belum terpakaikan itu, lalu mendapat ide untuk memblog tentang mereka! Maka terciptalah blog ini! Okay, the end of story.

Oops, mungkin belum end yet…

Inilah dia buku-buku nota yang belum terpakai. Sebenarnya, ada yang dah pakai sikit2 waktu clerkship dan panum dulu. Tapi masih banyak helaian kosong yang masih boleh diisi.Saya mengaku bahawa saya adalah seorang pencinta alam! Betul! Saya dapat merasakan perasaan marah apabila melihat kertas, kotak, kadbod dan botol yang dibuang begitu sahaja walaupun keadaan mereka masih sesuai untuk dikitar semula. Saya juga merasa sakit hati apabila melihat orang fotostat hanya menggunakan sebelah muka kertas sahaja padahal mereka boleh memfotostat dengan menggunakan helaian kertas itu secara maksimal. Selain itu, saya rasa macam nak bunuh je organisasi atau administrasi yang berkerja dengan menggunakan begitu banyak unsur kertas. Contohnya, pejabat imigrasi di negara kuno-lapok ini yang masih mengharuskan para aplikator untuk membeli fail kadbod untuk menyimpan data-data yang dituliskan di atas beberapa kertas. Sedangkan, kerja itu tidak sahaja membazir kertas, malah membuang masa dan tenaga. Kalau pakai sistem computer saya yakin perkerjaan mereka akan lebih efektif, efisien dan mersa alam.

Mungkin kerana saya dibesarkan dengan hasil wang kitar semula dan telah ditanamkan sifat untuk mengitar semula. Jangan salah anggap, kedua ibu bapa saya bukanlah orang 'paper lamaaa', tetapi di rumah, kami mempunyai tempat khusus di dalam stor untuk meletakkan barang-barang yang layak untuk dikitar semula dan kami akan ke pusat kitar semula untuk menukarkan 'sampah' kami dengan voucher belanja di pasar raya Giant. Walaupun, kami mengitar semula tanpa mengharapkan voucher belanja itu, kerana kami melakukan dengan ikhlas demi Bumi tercinta.

Sekarang, saya melakukan inisiatif meletakkan dua buah beg plastik di rumah ini untuk meletakkan kertas/kadbod/kotak dan botol kosong untuk dikitar semula. Mulanya beg plastik itu diletakkan di dapur, tetapi kurang mendapat sambutan, kerana masih kelihatan ada dari anggota rumah ini yang masih memberikan nafkah yang tidak patut kedalam tong sampah. Jadi, saya meletakkan beg plastik itu di samping pintu masuk rumah. Semoga housemates saya mempunyai perasaan sayangkan Bumi dan mendapat kesadaran tentang pentingnya kitar semula!

Saya mengaku bahawa saya bukanlah pencinta alam sejati yang sangat dedikasi, tetapi setidaknya saya cuba yang terbaik! Cuma sekarang, saya banyak menggunakan tisu untuk menghembuskan hingus lalu membuangkan ke dalam tong sampah (kerana tisu berhingus tidak patut dikitar semula!). Tetapi, setiap kali itu, saya akan teringatkan mama yang pernah menasihati saya supaya menggunakan sapu tangan apabila selsema dan membasuh sapu tangan itu dan mengambil sapu tangan yang baru dan seterusnya. Mama benar-benar melakukan itu setiap kali dia selsema. Tetapi, saya tidak ada sebegitu banyak sapu tangan...

Eh, kenapa tersasul sampai cerita recycle ni??

Dan ini, adalah buku nota yang saya pakai sehari-hari ditempat kerja. Sudah diisi separuh!

Sudah hampir jam 3 pagi. Saya juga sudah mula mengantuk. Adakah kerana ianya jam 3 saya mengantuk? Atau kerana saya baru mengkonsumsi ubat selsema yang mempunyai efek sedatif? Ya, mana2 juga jawapannya, saya tidak peduli. Saya mau tidur! Selamat malam!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Phew~ as I exhale…

Alhamdulillah I've made it! This is merely a tension micro liberation for this stage of medical intermediate interns.

This morning, I presented my case report on a COPD patient and hence being assessed as examination for this week posting at the pulmo division. Of all the four divisions of internal medicine I've been into for this whole month, I can say that pulmo is the best (yet I have 2 more days to get done with it).

In spite of presenting a case, my finicky-yet-pleasant supervisor also offered a lot of her time for discussion and provide me with facts and information that I have over-looked and disregarded. Although there were a lot of faults and flaws in my case, she never despise any of my points, instead she would grasp of every littlest aspects of my thoughts and make me feel so much appreciated and motivated. Then she gave me chocolates! *grin* (is chocolate means an A?)

When I was on call (last Tuesday night), maybe it was my luck to be working with three amusing residents. I was cleared with my job description and I knew most of the things that was supposed to be under my responsibility. That night was all fine, all patients with lung problems slept quite safe and sound (or perhaps a little wheezing here and there! Hehe).

Around 1am when I was getting ready to sleep (dah baring dah and dah tutup mata pon!), Dr.O came into the kamko (kamar koas) and called me up. I rushed up since I thought we got an emergency call. Then he called me into their office and personally tutored on reading the CxR (Chest X-rays). OMG, I am so truly flattered! Because 1) it was 1am, he just got back to the ward from the emergency dept and all worn-out, but still he spared a few minutes for tutoring me, 2) he found that it was his responsibility to fill me (as his intern) with some skills and knowledge, 3) he was told by Frente to teach me. I owe you Frente!

And even I was on a very bad flu and on the verge of a fever, I was still all-up to be tutored! yeah, even at 1 in the morning! It's his thought to taught that counts! hehe

Every morning I would wake up to have the enthusiasm to work. The pulmo residents for the wards I am in charge too are apart of my motivation. Dr.R thought me on spooling procedure for empyema patient. So today, I successfully did the procedure all by myself without her supervising me, and it gives me the zest! She would also call me up to observe on any procedures scheduled on the operating room. Now I know how FOB (fibre optic bronchoscopy) procedure is like, how to use the spirometry for the pulmonary function test and how the pleural evacuation is done. I am so much hand-in.

Meanwhile, Dr.F, just like his initial, is one heck of friendly and funny resident! On my first day in this division, he personally thought me on reading the CxR. Despite of the cracks of jokes everyday, he is also a very diligent doctor who understand fully of his own responsibilities and mine – so we do our own job mutually but yet concurrently.

Back then, I thought pulmo would be my least favourite (because I was just not interested in lungs and their diseases), nevertheless these people make me feel smart and prepared! Indonesia, albeit 57.1% a better place to encounter with TB (tuberculosis) patient compared to home.If one ask me whether if I am ready to confront a patient, I would say yes to patients with common lung diseases!

p.s : one more reason I like this division is because we had a free lavish lunch buffet this afternoon at the Alveoli!!! (oh yea, they named their meeting hall 'Alveoli', cute uh?)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Washed off!

Today is a bless. The pouring rain adds to its sanctifying moment purifying every scattered iniquity, and every spite of hatred that has been mischievously bothering my life all these days.

This week is going to be over and I am glad. I am glad that I am no more have to be working vaguely yet not gaining anything. I celebrate my feelings of contentment by going out for lunch with Frente. I always wonder how my first torment as Dokter Muda life would be like without her. Well, the initial plan was to hang-out at Icha's café and study together. Alas, we ended up meeting with Icha and her bunch of friends. It was good, I had great time forgetting about this week when I'm with them. The fettucine marinara and eclaires were awesome!

Starting this week, one of the first hitches was with my group mates. So far, having three nuisance boys in a group of five had started giving me a headache. Especially early this week (everyone was on a very low motivation and exhausted of working I guess), our group seems as if we were torn into another two separate groups of 3 nuisance boys versus the 2 obedient girls. Alrite, I am not going to elaborate more about our group's internal problem. It's just that, I am not the person who can tolerate with unfairness without a respectful give-and-take. I just don't make slave of myself for anyone's benefit, I am up for discussion and you have to have reasons to reject my decisions or to make me agree with yours.

I dislike this consultation cycle a.k.a this week is such a useless week. I never get clear of my job description and I don't feel like a doctor this whole week long, I feel like an office girl or a postman instead. Delivering consultations to respectable doctors without getting the see the patients but to waste quite an amount of my phone credit – worth it? No?

Then I had my first on-call for this cycle. Still I was not clear of my job description. I accidentally threw myself into a pool of problems, I got into trouble with the resident and I missed to get my lesson for the night. I would have had learn a lot that night during my on-call if I wasn't too concentrate on doing my job to pleased others that I got too tired and fell asleep.

Dah! Next!

Friday, January 8, 2010

The Pillow Talk and The Language Lesson

It's been ages since I had a pillow talk with anyone. I can't remember the last, but the best I've ever had was always then when me and Angah were bedmates. I remember we used to turned off the lights, get into our blanket, and while starring at our ceiling of scattered of glow-in-the-dark stars, we would talk, about everything even the things that weren't a matter to us. And of course I was always the last person to stop talking, when I realized that she finally had fallen asleep.

Since then, I don't remember having any good deep pillow talk with anyone, but last week.

I had a terrific one, just right on time when I needed the most. I realized that I haven't been talking that much, I haven't been writing that much and I haven't been letting-it-out that much either. I just had not much time for it, I mean, I have not much time for myself. However I am very grateful that we go for a weekend-out once in awhile to wind out ourselves after the arduous days and nights spend working our asses out in the hectic hospital.

It was only the 2nd day of 2010, 29 days before my 24th birthday, but then was the time when I felt my growing rate is accelerating. Maybe because I am actually a grown-up stuck in the soul of a hooligan, or maybe because I am too much being surrounded by people who are pursuing the same trail as me, that none of us know what is there waiting for us ahead.

Therefore sometimes, we need to succumbed to some experienced trailer to guide us along. An older, more witted, matured and experienced person. I found that person, and I'm glad we talked.

That night, she opened up my eyes on how different people react to love. And having said that, I realized that there is tremendous of things I have yet to learn – about love of course. It was a terrific talk, with few examples from her past experiences in which make me feel a lot more confidence.

One of the things we confer was on this book by Dr. Gary Chapman – The Five Love Languages. I Googled it to get a better grasp. Although he wrote it for marriage couples, but his main points are nifty to everyone who is in love, be it with an opposite sex, with parents, friends, colleagues, etc. (example from an article click here)

By understanding the points, I am now more comprehended with handy advises on love. I also realized that although love is blind, alas it speaks the most languages ever spoken.

Now I understand the reason why sometimes I am feeling the way I shouldn't and why sometimes we tend to find it hard to recognize each other's desire. It's because we are indeed speaking of different languages that make us lost in translation in most of our crucial times. We might ingratiating ourselves by the same meaning, but it's how we 'speak' is indeed to be toned. Tuning into synchronization of two different languages need practice and a lot of patience.

I believe, we both are strong in learning our new languages and practicing it to fit into each others' fondness. InsyaAllah, it'll be as smooth as ever for us, because our base is strong - WE LOVE. Practices don't make perfect, simply because nothing in this world is ever created perfect. But practicing to accept the imperfect is the best gift one could offer. Someday, our languages will warmly fused and we'll speak of the same without even a grammar mistake. AMIN.p.s : Zhafri, I love you.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Azam tahun baru (title yg lagi trend)

Sebab semua orang (maksudku saya ramai orang) selalu buat new year resolution, maka saya juga ingin cuba membuat new year resolution atau juga dikenali sbg azam tahun baru.

Tak nak lah buat azam tahun baru yang poyo2, sbb azam yang poyo2 selalunya 90% akan berakhir dgn kepoyoan juga. Cliche sangat utk buat azam untuk menjadi lebih baik, lebih rajin, lebih sopan, lebih kurus dan sebagainya dimana azam itu hanya akan berakhir pada awal-awal tahun baru sahaja (KECUALI azam ingin menjadi lebih kurus yg intermitten).

Jadi tahun ni, saya rasa saya patut buat azam lain yang lebih realistik dan senang untuk diaplikasikan. Saya berazam untuk cuba senyum tutup mulut atau nama lain senyum tak nampak gigi.
kenapa nak senyum tak nampak gigi?

Tiba-tiba saya mahu mengenang zaman dahulu sebelum memakai braces, hampir 70% gambar saya senyum tutup mulut. Oleh kerana mulut saya lebar, maka kelebaran senyuman saya akan selalu menampakkan seolah-olah saya senyum sangat ikhlas dan penuh dengan kebahagiaan.

Tapi sejak gigi dah agak cantik setelah membuka braces, hampir 99% foto saya lebih sering menunjukkan hasil kerja orthodontist saya yang hebat dan berjaya merapatkan celah di antara gigi-gigi saya dalam tempoh 12 bulan sahaja dengan total harga yang telah mama saya bayar tak kurang RM5000 (termasuk permanent retainer saya yang sampai sekarang masih tertanam dibelakang gigi atas dan bawah). Senyuman saya yang menampakkan gigi kadang-kadang kelihatan fake seolah-olah saya membuat-buat bahagia. Well, nampak je buat-buat, tapi ikhlas kok!

Lagi satu mungkin senyum nampak gigi membuat saya kelihatan lebih keanak-anakan kerana saya bukan tersenyum malah tersengih. Kadang-kadang kelihatan seperti ada sesuatu yang tersembunyi dibenak fikiran. gEe hee hee!!

Azam tahun baru ini bukanlah bermaksud saya tidak akan senyum nampak gigi sama sekali, tetapi saya akan lebih menyesuaikan senyuman saya dengan keadaan. Jadi tak adalah nampak macam saya asyik tersengeh, atau asyik senyum-control-ayu je..

p.s : klau tak senyum nampak gigi, membazir pulak dah pakai braces mahal-mahal dulu... hmm~

p.s.s : HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
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