Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Stress-free breakdown

Exams over. Well, not exactly.

Literally it's over – at least for me.

I'm done. Not because I should be done, but I want to get over it. And I always get what I want. Get what I mean?

Maybe I'm doubtingno, I'm not.

Maybe I'm confusedno, I'm sure.

Maybe I'm refusingno, I determined!

Maybe I'm avoiding… (?)

Maybe I… am just having a stress-free breakdown and it's weird. (tak stress pun masalah gak ke?!)

I need to define this perplexity of mixed odd feelings. The feeling of contentment, not exactly a satisfaction, but the ease is soaring up on a low-pitched-high-frequency. I feel fueled –with hydrogen gas, and am certainly on the brink of floating in the air. I fly!

Weird. For the past 2 days, I've been listening to Frank Sinatra, Dianna Ross, Nat King Cole, Micheal Buble, The Carpenters, The Supremes, Grease soundtrack and all those dead people deadly dwindling my ears. What has gotten into me??! Euh!

Weird. I woke up in the middle of the night. Frenziedly jumped out of my bed, clipped my hair up high and was about to take wuduk and pray. But wait, what was the time again? 3 a.m??! Nak sembahyang ape? I feel senile for a moment. Losing the sense of time. Took off my hairclip, and burying myself back in bed.

There's something wrong with my natural alarm clock in my brain. I woke up at the wrong time, but doing the exact same things I do every single day, rushing up here and there chasing over the high-speed time, ensuring everything is fitting dead on schedule – I was programmed. For God's sake, I should be over my schedule by now! I no more have to wake up and run my ass off around or even stick it on the chair for hours nor neither do I have to think of anything. Yeah, I mean anything! Anything anything! I am free to crawl, creep, drag, and dawdle myself however I wish! I am free!

The books are packed, the notes have been stored away, they can't see me already, and I should not be worried of any awful guilt feelings of abandoning them. Get a life nerd!

Sh** I am not a nerd!!! Compared to the previous Bils I know, maybe this Bil is. NO WAY! Urgh!! I'm getting my life back! Demit!

I need to go back home,

and reformat myself.

2 comments:

Nadine Mazbar said...

Huhu, Bil dear, yes you've got to reformate and reboot ur system , hehe yeay !!! bestnya u dah nak balik, okay, have maximum fun yea , take care !!! ;D

IBU HAYATI said...

Saya ibu hayati ingin berbagi cerita kepada anda semua bahwa saya yg dulunya cuma seorang TKW di HONGKONG jadi pembantu rumah tangga yg gajinya tidak mencukupi keluarga dikampun,jadi TKW itu sangat menderita dan disuatu hari saya duduk2 buka internet dan tidak disengaja saya melihat komentar orang tentan MBAH KABOIRENG dan katanya bisa membantu orang untuk memberikan nomor yg betul betul tembus dan kebetulan juga saya sering pasan nomor di HONGKONG,akhirnya saya coba untuk menhubungi MBAH KABOIRENG dan ALHAMDULILLAH beliau mau membantu saya untuk memberikan nomor,dan nomor yg diberikan MBAH KABOIRENG meman betul2 terbukti tembus dan saya sangat bersyukur berkat bantuan MBAH KABOIRENG kini saya bisa pulang ke INDONESIA untuk buka usaha sendiri,,munkin saya tidak bisa membalas budi baik MBAH KABOIRENG sekali lagi makasih yaa MBAH dan bagi teman2 yg menjadi TKW atau TKI seperti saya,bila butuh bantuan hubungi saja MBAH KABOIRENG DI 085-260-482-111 insya ALLAH beliau akan membantu anda.Ini benar benar kisah nyata dari saya seorang TKW.. KLIK GHOB 2D 3D 4D 6D DISINI















Saya ibu hayati ingin berbagi cerita kepada anda semua bahwa saya yg dulunya cuma seorang TKW di HONGKONG jadi pembantu rumah tangga yg gajinya tidak mencukupi keluarga dikampun,jadi TKW itu sangat menderita dan disuatu hari saya duduk2 buka internet dan tidak disengaja saya melihat komentar orang tentan MBAH KABOIRENG dan katanya bisa membantu orang untuk memberikan nomor yg betul betul tembus dan kebetulan juga saya sering pasan nomor di HONGKONG,akhirnya saya coba untuk menhubungi MBAH KABOIRENG dan ALHAMDULILLAH beliau mau membantu saya untuk memberikan nomor,dan nomor yg diberikan MBAH KABOIRENG meman betul2 terbukti tembus dan saya sangat bersyukur berkat bantuan MBAH KABOIRENG kini saya bisa pulang ke INDONESIA untuk buka usaha sendiri,,munkin saya tidak bisa membalas budi baik MBAH KABOIRENG sekali lagi makasih yaa MBAH dan bagi teman2 yg menjadi TKW atau TKI seperti saya,bila butuh bantuan hubungi saja MBAH KABOIRENG DI 085-260-482-111 insya ALLAH beliau akan membantu anda.Ini benar benar kisah nyata dari saya seorang TKW.. KLIK GHOB 2D 3D 4D 6D DISINI

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