Haruskah?

Despite of self-granting extra one week holiday to myself…

Tidak mau pulang ke Indon!

Tanak!! Tanak! Tanak!!!

(nangis teresak-esak)

Haruskah?

***

I hate moments like this when days are down to doom. Like a huge cancerous growth is metastasizing to my every organ in my body and worse affecting my emotions. My 5 days survival rate is 0%, and once the time is up, I'll be there living my disastrous life in the vein of a zombie living dead with other zombies who are trying hard to be alive.

Pointing out the reasons to be living-dead and surviving is just to end my torment – torment of mixed causes that don't just stand individually.

Torment of being far away in a far out sigh land where entertainments are in need to be dug out and make-felt, sham imaginations make a good company.

The plague attack of several undetected rare illness such as homesickness and badly want to be accompanied by a physical contact of a soulmate.

Great ordeal with a number of unfamiliar and exasperating behaviors of the locals…

Wait!

I better stop listing out the bothersome!

Life description

Waking up before 6 a.m and got out of the house before dawn this whole week has made me come to an early stage of hatred of working life, but yet very amazed of those thousands of people who are doing so for their living –

1. wake up before dawn,

2. get into their driving machines and 'drag' the mobiles down the course of congested roads for miles,

or forcefully squeeze themselves into the public transportations where crumpled working attires is more likely to happen in the ass-to-ass condition, and not forgotten the aroma of mixed scented from everyone's perfumes (and even some who refused to bathe in the morning) make you feel like suffering from a 'morning sickness',

3. sit at their desks, in front of the computers, with piles of papers, answering calls, listening to complains, explaining how the world turns, or (state your job description here)

4. indisputably serve their companies,

5. love to hear the clock ticking, and sometimes even visualized the clock turns faster (but slower during lunch break),

6. smile to their colleagues when there is extra time to think about 'being nice' to other people,

7. talk to colleagues when there is more extra time to vocalized sticky situation, or sometimes they just mumble out things that are not even significant to the current situation,

8. and get off to work right when the clock hit 5.00pm (or state your working hour here), rewind back the before dawn episodes of point number 2 and 3

9. repeat the whole procedure number 1 to 8 for 5 or 6 days in a week

10. get paid by the end of the month

11. pay off the bills and such

12. and never forget to pray that they will at least have some times for shopping and spend their salary for something else besides bills, meals, petrols and public toilet. Allah is most kind of all, He granted all these prayers, though not at all times. This is why you still find shopping malls and job vacancies.

These 12 points are what you called 'Life' and everyone is looking forward for this journey of life. They read the Classifieds at local newspapers, they surf jobstreet, they walk in for interviews and brag about themselves, they all find jobs!

Unlike some other countries where their citizens desperately look at money and strategized their 'work', or sit and beg for money…

I am glad we are Malaysian, we all find jobs for money, we work!

The cute cutex

The Red Zone was activated. Every Red crew was as impossibly calm as usual. An old Indian man was in his ramshackle condition. While the doctor was 'calmly' having an eventful brain of recalling names of drugs, dosages, interventions and so, the nurses were hectically resuscitating his airway, breathing, and circulation, the patient laid with full of calmness (he was unconscious, that's why).

While me… I was trying to get his finger to clip on the clip to measure the blood oxygen saturation. When I got his hand, my first thought was "umm… cold". My second thought was when I looked at his fingers, guess what I saw?

Chipped shimmering gold nail polish!

My third thought was impeded by the seriousness of the condition, and if it wasn't in that momentous, I would have laughed! But since I gotta be serious, I just smiled. Til now, I am still wondering – why was he wearing a nailpolish? Gold and glittery.

Cucu dia pakaikan kot…

I am a big fan of the government

I am a big fan of the government. Who is our government again? (answer that yourself!)

My fanatical for the government grows bigger and bigger each day. I am not into politics but I just love the government, our government. And I wouldn't mind bragging about them all night long, and even if I have to debate about it (but I won't do so, cause I am 105% positive that I am on the right side and I'd win no matter what). You, or other people, or almost majority of the citizen can hate our government for an endless list of whatever reasons they have, but in this legal age for voting in election, I am certainly certain of my stand, I am for our government (you state the name of the party here).

The gov paid for my studies since I graduated from kindergarten (I was totally sponsored by my parents during kindergarten) til this point. Though they refused at first and gave me list of other choices, but they still loaned me a big bucks just to get my dream come true. They trust me, I'm flattered…

After loaning me hundreds of thousands, they even prepare me a job! Not just any job, but a professional (you can say that) and that is an affirmation of ten years of contract. Oh, very kind… some refused to take the job as they think that it'd be too burdening and not worth the pay. But I think, it is worth the pahala, nothing to lose and in fact, do you think you are worth than what it takes?
Puh-lis! *eye rolling*

Malaysian citizen are human and been treated humanely. I must say that we are being treated like babies, spoon-fed and helpless! Everything is done by the gov, all you have to know is that you are breathing the way you like it and when there is a microsecond of 'shortness of breathing', you'll spank on the gov's asses and command for more air. Ah, Malaysian… please, grow up, would cha?! Go out, look at other people around you with a much more devastating life in their disastrous countries.

Trust me, I don't trust any other hands to hold my country as best as now. Leave them all with the scandals and corruptions, that's their personal life. Are your life affected by that? Don't you have to go to school? Is your home taken off? Are you family suffer from starvation? Come on, our leaders are humans perfectly equipped with lust for money, more money, sex, leisure and all other human’s desires. Let them be!

***

As far as I remember, I only had been treated once in the government health provider. My family, we are more to private practitioners. I see my parents draw out their cash everytime we visit the clinic. Most of the time, the bill comes out to nearly one hundred Ringgit for a simple consultation and drugs, whilst only one Ringgit is all it needs to get the same treatment from the government hospital (put aside the comparison of environment). I heard many stories about how 'bad' the government services are, including health services. If it is too bad, how can the HKL gets ISO 9001-2001, while the private practitioners don't?

So far from what I've seen 'behind the scene' in the A & E department of HKL, all the specialist, doctors, nurses, MAs, cleaners and all member of staff work at their most unsurpassed excellencies to provide the best for everyone. Yes, everyone, despite of their economical status, races, religions and even nationality.

Last week, there was an old Indian man. He was at the asthma bay, after being nebulized for the 2^nd time, I put on my raspberry stethoscope and could still hear bad wheezing in his lungs. As how Dr Suki had thought me how to handle asthma patient, I did exactly like how had been told (except for the drugs prescriptions). I knew that this man is not having asthma like how he claimed so. He is what I diagnosed as Community Acquired Pneumonia. Anyways, this man's story had made me count another blessing. He is what he said "kerja cuci pasar", and staying in the DBKL labor quarters. I never thought I would come to such close contact with someone with such honorable job as that. How thoughtful of our government to provide shelter for these workers – good roof, warm walls, free electricity, accessible clean water sources and still with reasonable salary and sensible allowance. And most importantly, health services for free of charge!

This morning, another heavy smoker pakcik was transmitted from the asthma bay to the red zone. Another government environmental concierge. He claimed himself as "tukang sapu jalan" with montly salary of only RM400. He is a 'regular customer' of the HKL Asthma Bay where he got his vital dosage of Salbutamol on nebulizer. He is also equipped with Beta agonist inhaler, and from what I saw, he got the Combivent® (one of the newest, best inhaler for asthmatic patient). All these, he got without having to spent a sweat. If is not because of the generosity of our intellectuals government people, can you imagine what will happen to this Pakcik? Semput semput semput and gone!

A Bangladeshi walked into the Yellow Zone with his right hand on his head. He couldn't move even an inch of that hand. Doctor sent him for an X-ray and diagnosed a shoulder displacement. Sent him for mobilization, and the next thing I know, his hand was down and wrapped up neatly in clean bandage. After all done, he walked off the door and back to his 'container', without needing to pay a single sen. Though he is not a Malaysian, but he got exactly what a Malaysian and other human deserve to get. Thanks to our government!!

An Indian citizen man was sent of stroke to the Red Zone. He just arrived in Malaysia for few months and work as a barber. He hardly knows a single word of Bahasa Malaysia. Guess what he got? Treatment for free of charge! He was almost been given one of the most expensive drug (without questioning his nationality), however he was contraindicated for it since he had other complications too. Even if he had that expensive drug, he wouldn't know how much it cost. Aww… how sweet our government is.

Somalian, Indonesian, Burmese, Vietnamese, you name it… as long as they are human, they ought to get treatment when they are sick. No matter how little money they have, even if they have none.

Thanks to all Malaysian who pay their taxes, and for our government, I personally thank you for being smart in coordinating such tremendous system in our nation's health services, thus for making Malaysia a home for everyone.

Breakfast

It has been 2 weeks since I only have half glass of cold milk, warm shower and a speedy morning at home before hitting the heavy traffic. I love commuting by the public transports everyday where I got to watch the people around and observed the hard-working Malaysians. I wonder if they ever had their breakfast before they left home. Grabbing some food and eating during commuting isn't really my way of breakfast, but that's what I am doing, for these past weeks. And…

I didn't exactly planned to skip 'work' today, but I was just planning to take a little break and have an ordinary holiday at home kinda day. Neither 'Lazy' nor 'weary' are the terms to describe the reasons why I am not in the hospital today, in fact I find it very interesting to 'join in the team and play along in the field' (though I am more like the ardent spectator there). Maybe, yeah maybe I merely long for a lingering morning where I can wake up feeling fully recharged, traipsing my feet down to the kitchen, help myself some luscious mushroom soup with garlic toast and scramble eggs for breakfast, drink some milk, turn on the tv while reading newspaper online, and you know, those kinda thing you'd love to wake up to…

I was looking forward to watch Juno this morning. Thought it would be a really good movie. It is good, but I expected it to be better, wayyyy better. By mean, I am disappointed. The movie is too flat! It does have some good and positive side of it, but it is tedious. Not many conflicts to stir my excitement. It is as tedious as Hard Candy. If you haven't watched that one, then you better don't. Ellen Page is cute, but too bad for her, I've seen her acted in both dull monotonous movies.

This is one cute song from Juno. It sounds dreary too. I bet William Hung can sing better. But somehow, I like it.

And yet another episode…

Everyday spent in the hospital (Emergency Department to be exact) is like watching a new episode of ER or Grey's Anatomy or House M.D (Niptuck? 3 lbs? naa). New cases, new discovery and certainly an 'excitement'. I definitely learn something new and interesting everyday and emphatically glad that somehow in this luring holiday I managed to drag this pair of fatty arse for something more beneficial rather than just 'fat accumulation' and 'money reduction'. Though it is tiring at times, but it is worth every sweat.

As my parents, sister and aunt love to hear daily episode of my 'melodrama', I myself love anticipating playing in one. Every so often, I 'over-timed' at the hospital, just waiting for some 'scene'… how I wish I could try stay there at different time of the day (as the scenario varies), say at night, alas transportation seems to be the main problem here. But it's okay~

I am recalling few scenarios that are happening today in the unit. Yet, don't know exactly which one to exert, too many common cases and don't know which to put a forth. Nonetheless, there was this odd one that I'll tell… And the story goes :

When there are policemen ranging around the unit, you'll know that there is some unusual case was brought in, and most probably a psycho case or better known as the 'P.S.Y'. Everyday, there is surely, at least one p.s.y case presented, by some means, I find these cases are interesting – like some cracking of serious jokes (I love laughing and quite bad in controlling it). However today, the p.s.y case was rather a bloodcurdling.

I found a young Chinese man, large sized body, with both hands cuffed together, very well dressed and good hygiene was laid on a trolley bed. He was just strolled into the Yellow Zone for minutes, Dr. Carey (my senior in uni) was pointed to take a first look and first ear of this patient while some other doctor had a talk with the policemen. I tagged along (with other few nurses, MA and an H.O), listen to what the patient had to say – he had a whole lot of story which I heard it as 'bragging'.

To cut the story short…

The policemen collected all his personal items into a plastic bag said "Saya ambil ini semua barang aa? Atau kamu mau letak sini saja?"

"kenapa mau ambil? Sini saja letak woo, saja boleh jaga, ini doktor juga boleh kasi tolong jaga sama saya" and shot a sharp stare on me.

"Oh sh**, whattha??!" I thought to myself, goosebumps all up

He kept his stare on me and said "You cina kan?"

"Tak, I'm a Malay" I answered with a little unnoticeable shiver.

"Takpe, saya mau awak jadi doktor saya, tolong kasi tengok sama barang-barang saya"

After a few second pause, he turned and look at everyone else around

"Saya mau ini doktor kasi tolong tengok sama saya aaa"

And everyone's turned their blunt sympathetic stare at me. I petrified.

And the patient, he gave me this filthy flirty kinda look and say

"Siapa nama doktor? Banyak cantik la. Sudah ada boyfriend? Doktor sini jaga barang saya, nanti saya bagi satu handphone"

HOLY SH**!!! I was freaking freaked out and involuntarily rushed out of the Yellow Zone. I didn't know what happened next… I know, I shouldn't have acted so, instead I should have stayed, listen and help the patient out of his miserable disturbed mind. But it happened too quickly, my involuntary timorous reaction. After a few hours, I went back (knowing that he should have had been referred to p.s.y ward), I looked out for his 'ticket' or patient record. There were 4 pages full of patient's history got from the police, his brother and he himself.

Imagine this, a huge and plump Chinese man, well dressed, claims that he is a bonzer, works for some 'Alongs' (illegal money loaners), very well known among the VIPs, had fights with several people (mafia la konon), also 'tarik kereta', 'take care' of the Petaling Street area, raped a few people, also known by a name which means 'Make big money', have business of selling handphones and was classmate with Nurul Izzah Anwar (and academically better than her).

And from the police, he went ballistic in front of the police station, throwing things around, shouted and threatened the policemen, also threatened to rape one of the policewoman there, claims that he was upset with the police officers who turned him down when he reported that he was a victim on a gang fight and had several serious injuries here and there (while he looked totally fine, healthy and no sign of abused).

And plentiful information from his brother, where from all these stories, I can say that he is not right. That something is wrong somewhere, schizophrenia? Perhaps.

No hint

Last Thursday, an old Chinese woman asked me to make her die. Not exactly to kill, but she, in her utter pain and confused mind (senile perhaps), put both her palms together continuously begging me

"Doktor, tolong saya, saya mau mati"

Hmm… she got so irritating when she refused every command that her doctor asked. That doctor (a singh, I didn't get his name) got so infuriated by her nonsense speech. He was too tired to entertain silly things I reckon, but what he wanted was just to complete his general physical examination. Went off to breathe for a while, he passed the history taking to me. Means, I have to talk to her – the senile woman of multiple illness yet nothing has been substantiated due to bad communications.

Dr. Suhailan – I must say one of the best doctors I've met in ED so far. Therefore I rushed this morning just to get to the 'HO training session' where he handled. He reminded me a few times yesterday about today's A & E session as I could see how sincerely he wanted to teach. He's good. His good intervention and planning has saved the life of an almost dead patient who was brought in collapsed due to status asthmaticus.

CPR was done for few times, he was asystoled for few times, there were signs of return cardiac function for few minutes, brought in the resus collapsed with no pulse, got defib, the nurse was teaching him to 'mengucap', blabla bla over all, it was one of the worse-near-to-death situations I've ever seen so far… and he was saved (despite the fact that his brain is damaged). And me, I was exhausted doing hundreds of external chest compressions and a little bit of bagging.

He (the almost dead patient), I believed woke up to a sunny sunshine, putting on his Levi's jeans and didn't get a bit of hint of death coming near… poor human.

Meanwhile, in the Yellow Zone…

A psychotic woman was there sitting while being guarded by two policemen. After sitting calmly for few minutes, she got up and says

"Aku balik dulu lah"

One of the cop ran towards her, captured her and tell her to wait for a few more minutes til the doctor comes. The psychotic woman looked around confusedly and asked everyone

"kenapa aku dekat sini? Aku nak balik lah!", got up immediately and ran off (but the policemen managed to seized her up).

She walked back to her bed while spanking off everyones' asses around there. Luckily I was facing her, so my ass was safely backed off. Again, I felt like laughing hard to those nurses and MA whose asses got spanked, but then as usual, everyone was impossibly calm (just jolted for a millisecond and then got back to work).

LOVE

Few love songs that drooled me. Some of which I have in mind right now.

I dedicate these songs to all lovers out there, with a message 'Keep on loving'

and especially to my over-poured honey pot, Zuffy, keep on pouring, I'm drenched in this love you showered me

♥

Sobbing of alphabets

Just came back from 'sending Elisha off to Melbourne at KLIA'. It's kinda sad… sad for 2 reasons or probably more. Well, lets not talk about it.

We then dropped by for some satay kajang (since most of them haven't eaten yet). Thought of the after party – taiti-ing at the kopitiam for a while, but I just couldn't get this body up for more hour. Perhaps my carcidian cycle has been altered since I go to bed constantly early these few weeks.

While nipping my ABC in a half-sleep consciousness, it suddenly appears in my mind the autism kid whom I attended at the asthma bay last week. He, 8, who has the cutest yet hilarious cry I've ever heard my entire life. It takes special endurance to comprehend with the unique mind of an Autism kid and we don't communicate like normal people does, thus it is quite a difficulty to understand their need. I just place the clip where it measures the blood oxygen saturation on his thumb and he started to whine. Then, I wrap the cuff around his arm to measure his blood pressure, and the whining gets harder and harder. He whined, I didn't know why, until the mother told me that he's 'special'. The whining gets harder and louder and he was howling as if he was in a severe pain. I was trying to understand what he was saying in his weeping sound and as sounds very familiar… he was actually crying of A B C (instead of 'reading'). When I got him, he was up til the letter H already.

Can you imagine? It sounds so cute to have read the ABC while you're sobbing.

AAaaa sob..sobb.. B.. sob sob C..sob sob D sob EEee sob sob F sob…

And, he was crying out his ABC til he gets out of the office. It was even more difficult for me to do auscultation of his lungs (interfere with his voice) . I didn't know if he was still wheezing, but Dr. Cheng's ear and stethoscope were there too, luckily.

Baju Kurung dan Melayu Cliche

Assalamualaikum, selamat petang dan salam sejahtera saya ucapkan kepada semua yang sedang membaca. Diharap anda semua berada dalam keadaan sihat walafiat di samping keluarga tercinta, atau kepada yang berjauhan dari keluarga, bersabarlah.

Kini, tibalah masa untuk saya berblog dan menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu, iaitu bahasa jiwa bangsa saya!

Semalam, saya berbaju kurung ke hospital. Sedang saya mengobservasi seorang doktor yang sedang melakukan prosedur 'chest tube insertion', dia tengok saya, dan tengok lagi buat kedua kalinya dan berkata

"Oh, Melayu ke?"

"yer lah! Bistu? Ingat I ni ape? benggali?!" tapi cakap dalam hati la…

Doktor tu orang kedua yang baru tau saya orang melayu. Sebelumnya, ada seorang M.A yang mula-mula tengok saya, lepas tu cuba baca name tag, lepas tu dia cakap

"Awak orang Melayu eh?"

Waduh, kok gitu sih… emangnya loe ingat gw apa?

"A'ah, kenapa?!"

"Boleh cakap Melayu la ni?"

"Boleh!! Jawa pon boleh!" dengan nada sarcastic skit…

Tak faham betul lah orang-orang Melayu zaman sekarang ni. Tak kenal dengan kaum sejenis. Tu lah Dr. M cakap, Melayu mudah lupa!

Tapi, adakah ini semua silap saya? Sebab saya tak banyak cakap Melayu? Ye lah, kawan-kawan saya dekat department tu tak ada seorang pun Melayu. Tak kan lah nak cakap Melayu dengan orang Scottish? Mereka cakap English dengan slang Scottish pon saya terkial-kial nak faham, atau cakap Melayu dengan dua budak British yang 'puckee' tu? Memang buang tebiat. Kalau dengan kawan-kawan Cina, mereka pun asyik cakap English. Kalau dengan doktor-doktor, mereka pun cakap English. Jadi, bila masa nak tunjukkan kebolehan berbahasa Melayu saya yang power ni? Tapi, saya cakap lah jugak BM dengan para MA dan nurse, sebab memang koloni mereka sentiasa ber-BM.

ATAU MUNGKIN…

Sebab saya tak berpakaian kebangsaan? Perempuan Melayu kena pakai baju kurung ke?
Please lah!!! Bukan saya tak suka pakai baju kurung, tapi pada saya baju kurung sangat cliché. Awak tau tak 'cliché' tu ape?

Semasa saya di kolej, saya berbaju kurung setiap hari kecuali Sabtu dan Ahad. Malah, nak keluar ke bandar juga harus mengenakan baju kurung, nak pulang ke rumah juga harus berbaju kurung. Pokoknya, sepanjang berada di kolej sampai keluar dari pagar kolej, harus berbaju kurung. Rimas! Rasa terkurung berbaju kurung. Peraturan ridiculous yang macam itu lah telah membuat saya rasa seperti 'berbaju kurung adalah suatu peraturan'.

Sedangkan sebelumnya saya akan mengenakan baju kurung pada Hari Raya, semasa menghadiri majlis-majlis rasmi, ke tempat-tempat suci, ataupun sekadar untuk bergaya ke tuition class (sekali sekala…). Saya menganggap baju kurung sebagai suatu lambang keagungan bangsa Melayu dimana kedaulatannya harus dijaga, pemakaiannya harus digandingi hati yang suci dan mulia, perasaan yang tenang dan hiba (bukan sebab dipaksa), dan oleh itu baju kurung tidak sesuai dipakai oleh sebarangan orang disembarangan tempat.

Jika kedaulatan baju kurung dijaga sedemikian rupa, maka tidaklah timbul pandangan 'Melayu Cliché'.

Tapi sayang, zaman sekarang, baju kurung sudah disalahertikan. Tidak dinafikan, saya juga sering menyalahertikan fungsi 'baju kurung', ni semua salah undang-undang kolej matrikulasi atau mana-mana IPTA yang membuat peraturan supaya pelajar perempuan harus berbaju kurung lah! Dimanakah logikanya? Hanya semata-mata mahukan pelajar nampak sopan dan menghindari daripada pelajar berpakaian yang kurang sopan atau menjolok mata, baju kurung dijadikan sasaran. Sehingga muncullah revolusi fesyen baju kurung – baju kurung moden lah, baju kurung jarang lah dan sebagainya. Kenapa orang merosakkan fesyen baju kurung yang telah menjadi suatu tradisi sejak zaman kesultanan Melayu?

Nak tau kenapa???

Sebab, dengan peredaran zaman, suhu dunia semakin meningkat, perangai manusia pun semakin pelik. Kalau kena pakai baju kurung setiap hari, maka kepanasan la semua orang diselubungi kain yang lebih kurang 4 meter panjang dan serba melitupi tubuh. Untuk mengurangkan rasa panas dan meningkatkan ventilasi dalam pakaian mereka, maka timbullah baju kurung berkain jarang. Lagipun, sedia maklumlah lengan baju kurung memang besar dan menggelebeh, bila cuci tangan, lengan baju pun ikut tercuci, bila makan, lengan baju pun ikut makan, kotor lah. Potongan badan baju kurung juga besar termasuklah kain sarungnya juga besar. Jadi kadang-kadang kain baju kurung akan tersangkut di pintu kereta, di pintu tren. Maka disinilah timbul fasyen baju kurung moden yang mengikut potongan tubuh badan. Jadi, tidaklah timbul baju tertinggal di luar apabila badan dah masuk ke dalam, sebab kalau baju gelebeh kan senang tersepit dekat celah-celah mana-mana… malah ada yang sampai tercarik dan terkoyak. Bila kain dah terkoyak sikit, susahlah nak alter…

Tau kenapa susah??

Sebab tekstile yang selalu digunakan untuk membuat baju kurung ni dikatakan hampir 'ekslusif'. Sering dijual dalam bentuk potongan. Selalunya tak ada dua potongan yang mempunyai design yang memirip (untuk design abstrak dan bunga-bunga). Amatlah jarang kalau anda mahu menemukan orang berbaju kurung dengan design yang 100% sama. Ada memang ada, tapi jarang. Jadi, disebabkan hal ini lah, kalau terjadi sebarang kerosakan terhadap baju kurung, amatlah sulit untuk dicarikan penggantinya. Sebab selalunya baju kurung dibuat dengan menggunakan kain yang sama dari baju, lengan, hinggalah ke sarungnya. Kalau design tekstilnya bunga merah, maka berbunga merahlah dari hulu sampai ke hilir. Lalu akan digayakan dengan tudung polos berwarna merah juga.

Bercerita tentang Melayu Cliché…

Masih berkaitan dengan baju kurung. Daripada hasil observasi saya sejak sekian lam, saya dapati bahawa perempuan melayu mempunyai suatu jenis pakaian yang layak juga digelar sebagai 'pakaian seragam' mereka. Saya mula perasan hal sedemikian semasa saya di sekolah berasrama penuh (ok, not talking about it!). Pada mulanya saya amat terkejut, mereka semua mempunyai jenis tekstile baju kurung yang boleh dikatakan sama, cuma warna dan design bunga sahaja lain sedikit. Kemudian, semasa di kolej, saya sering perhatikan kawan rapat saya yang sememangnya mempunyai timbunan baju kurung. Baju kurung-baju kurung dia cantik lah juga, tetapi… ada sesuatu yang sama dengan semua baju kurung tu.

I just couldn't figure it out, but there was something very similar with all the bajus. Not only her baju, but everyone elses' too!!! It was freaky turned to nightmare.

Kemudian, saya cuba bandingkan baju kurung saya dengan baju kurung mereka, hmm… tak dapat 'perasaan sama' tu pun. Jadi saya pun tanya kepada kawan rapat saya tu, dimanakah dia sering membeli baju kurungnya. Dia jawab, mak dia yang jahit sendiri. Wow! Mama saya tak pernah pun jahitkan saya baju kurung. Jadi, dimanakah mak awak beli kain baju? Dia jawab, dekat 'Tangkak'. Haaa!!! Itu lah jawapan yang saya pernah dengar dari teman se-dorm semasa saya di asrama penuh dulu. Mereka memang big fan of 'Tangkak textile shopping spree'!. Ada juga antara teman saya yang membeli kain di Nilai. Yes!!! Itu juga salah satu tempat famous mereka berbelanja kain baju kurung! Hampir 80% perempuan berbaju kurung yang saya temukan di tepi jalan, atau di dalam train, atau di kampus, atau di mana-mana sahaja, saya dapat rasakan kesamaan jenis tekstile mereka. Dalam kata lain, I can sense the similarity of their textiles though they visibly look different, so Tangkakish/Nilaiish.

Saya rasa, saya dapat membezakan baju kurung Tangkak/Nilai dengan baju kurung yang Non-Tangkak/Nilai. Masih tak tau apa sebenarnya yang menjadikan kain baju kurung Tangkak/Nilai ini sangat 'special' sehingga mudah dikenal pasti, tetapi Alhamdulillah saya masih mempunyai fashion sense dan tidak terikut-ikut dengan fesyen Melayu cliché zaman sekarang. Mereka hanya mementingkan kuantiti baju kurung yang mereka ada sebab hari-hari mereka pakai 'pakaian seragam berwarna-warni' ini ke tempat kerja atau ke kelas. Tetapi tidak sedikit pun mereka hiraukan tentang kebanggaan memakainya, sebab kebanyakan baju kurung mereka senang didapati di kedai-kedai menjual pakaian siap jadi (atau dijahit sendiri dengan membeli kain potong yang banyak bergantungan di ratusan kedai di kompleks tekstile Nilai). Ditambah pula dengan fesyen tudung yang mengikut peredaran masa. Sekejap fesyen tudung selendang yang dililit di leher sampai macam nak tercekik dan melekat di kepala sampai nampak bentuk kepala yang bulat/bujur, sekejap fesyen tudung yang bersulam di tepi, baru-baru ini fesyen tudung bling bling, sekarang pula fesyen tudung yang keras di depan… lepas ni, apa pulak? Suka lah tu pakai tudung yang sama jenis dengan kawan-kawan, sampai satu pejabat pun pakai tudung yang sama.

Is this called a phenomenon? Uniformity? Or they simply are fashion victims?

Saya tidak bermaksud untuk mengutuk atau memperkecilkan mana-mana pihak. Ini cuma pendapat ikhlas dari saya yang dapat diluahkan dalam blog saya. Sekali lagi, dalam blog saya (bukan blog anda!). Tidak saya nafikan, saya juga dengan tidak sengajanya sering memandang remeh akan baju kurung. Saya anggap baju kurung sebagai pakaian kecemasan apabila saya sudah terlambat untuk bergaya ke kuliah. Memang senang berbaju kurung. Tak perlu fikir untuk mix & match sebab memang dah sepasang baju dan kain sama sahaja. Kadang-kadang, baju kurung juga tidak perlu diseterika sebab baju kurung terlampau sarat dengan bunga-bunga sampai tidak menampakkan kedutan-kedutan. Saya sering berpakaian mengikut keselesaan, kalau baju kurung saya diperbuat dari kain kapas (cotton), itu saya punya suka lah. Murah ke, macam budak kampong ke, tapi asalkan saya tak macam awak!!!

Making a difference

About all the boycotting game (wait, I don't think it's a game)… I am all for humanity and will support any kind of effort to sustain the civilization of humankind, therefore I do the boycotting (and I don't give a freaking damn about your conflicting ideas). If you haven't heard of the boycotting fab, well it's an effort to hold back the American and Israelis products and with a bit of luck towards dwindling their economy and thus lesser their budgets for the war. I am totally buttresting it! Even if I can help in earmarking a single cent, I'd be proud. I believe in teamwork.

By boycotting, it means you have to put some effort to change your lifestyle, your routine, your habits and everything that has to do with the American and Israelis (note : I have nothing against the American citizens personally, I am doing this for the sake of humanity, I am still a big fan of Hanson), and it is not as easy as it sounds. As for me, imposing sanctions over the orgasmic Starbucks Java Chips Frapuccino is challenging (but I believe its breakable). Some of my vital brands such as : Kleenex is the best un-tearable tissue for blowing your rhinitis nose, Ambi Pur does keep the air fumed better than any other air fresheners, Kotex keeps me safe, comfortable and confident during my monthly 'hemorrhage', I was born with Johnson & Johnson baby powder, bath foams and body lotion and the rest are not so vital. Nonetheless, I believe I don't depend my life on these brands and I can make a difference – a little sacrifice for a big change, why not?

Without our concern, the devastating extent of the suffering being inflicted on the people of Gaza by Israel would have been worse than worse!!

It has been ages since Zuff and I hangout together wi-fi-ing in public places. Starbucks used to be 'the place', but today we went to the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaves instead. I don't have any favorites in CB, hence I took minutes to decide of what to have. I had Belgian Chocolate and a piece of triple cheesecake (or whatever the name is). Zuff had the mocha blended. Both drinks were good, but nothing beats my Frap. I'm in an attempt to go for Caf-free anyways... (new year's resolution). However, I was quite disappointed on the facilities in CB. They don't provide many electric sockets, not even extension wires. They ought to do something in order to compete with SB, perhaps I should have dropped some words in their suggestion box.

As simple as ABC

a.
Apple and Yakult are my every morning essentials.

b.
Blogging is the best way to express feelings, cause not everyone likes/ready to listen to your whining, only those who cares will read, at least some person in this world know about it…

c.
Credit card is something I never have, and I'm glad. If I do, I'll be toasted by my parents for overspending it. If I do, I'll be fat. Online shopping is not healthy! It's for computer geek who is trying hard to get a life.

d.
Dog – I got chased one…

e.
Eat, eat, eat – something I do for fun, when I'm sad, for pleasure, for living, for I would die for, for every occasion, everything, everywhere!

f.
Favorite color of all time is pink, though it was hard for me to admit that when I was a kid.

g.
Girlfriends and I back at school where we always dream of becoming someone whom we're not. If we were the princesses or heroines, then prefects and teachers were the villains. We were the most rebellious girls at school, but we were too smart that the school loves us.

h.
HANSON – I'll never EVER get enough of em'!

i.
If I were not to become a doctor, I thought I'd be a barista in Starbucks, but now I've changed my mind (since Starbucks is fucking jews'). So, if you don't find me in the white coat, maybe I'll be on the television entertaining your kids on some TV program for children, hope I am not too old for Hi-5.

j.
Jordan Taylor Hanson was my first imaginary boyfriend.

k.
Kuala Lumpur is where I was born.

l.
Last year I discovered my ability to cook. But still it's not my passion.

m.
Mak is my grandmother, music is my life.

n.
No one in my family came from a medical background. I wonder where I got this crazy dream. Nobody ever told me to, the idea came even before I know my ABC. Weird actually, I wonder if my sisters were right, am I 'anak K'? oh, whatever, I gotta get this wildest dream of mine done despite of wherever I came from.

o.
'Okie' that's how I spell it.

p.
Playground was my routine to play catching and cycling with my brother and neighbours every day after sekolah agama.

q.
Quando Sies Mia is one of my favorite soap opera.

r.
Robotic doll named Suzie was my childhood favorite doll. She has a light sensitive heart shaped pendant on her necklace and would make a dance move on flashes of camera. That was one heck of sophisticated doll, I wonder if they still make that kinda doll nowadays…

s.
Sleep is the simplest and costless remedy for malady.

t.
Thirty first of January every year is my birthday. The most educative birthday present I've ever gotten were a Scrabble and a very classy globe (both from my parents). That is why I am kinda verbose and I know geography very well.

u.
Ultraman Ace – I used to watch every episode.

v.
vision of my left eye is -3.75 Dioptri, while my right is -3.5 Dioptri.

w.
Walking pace is higher than a normal average girl.

x.
xoxo, there are still secrets I cannot tell.

y.
YES – the most wonderful word that could came out from my parents' mouth.

z.
Zuff is where I find my wisdom, love, respect and sense of belonging.

Series of hodgepodge events

Touch Wood

I am not sure how to put this… I told Umi and Along that 'work' was 'fun' today, someone died, there was a psycho kid and the asthma bay got attacked by massive numbers of asthmatic patients.

Compared to yesterday, even 'worse'. We waited til lunch hour but still not many 'nice' cases to observe (there was when me, Susan & Robert walked off and hang around Bintang Walk and Chinatown).

I know, these are not supposed to be 'fun' – touch wood!

Nevertheless, I learnt a lot of things today. Something I never knew, something I only had to imagine before, something I knew but I forgot, things that I don't usually do.

Sama je

I got to 'work' a bit late today and stayed longer than office hour. Nobody cares, I don't have working hours and I am almost invisible there. I find it an advantage, albeit of being that invisible, I freely walk around and do anything I like (as long as I Primum non nocere @ First do no harm). The most valuable thing I learnt is that 'asking is the most important subject in learning'. Don't expect the doctors will come to you and tell you what he/she is doing and what has been done. No no… absolutely they won't tell you if you don't ask, jangan harap! If someone claims that Malaysian doctors are so goooood that they teach the medical students (willingly) compared to Indonesian doctors who ignore the students, from my experience that is very not true. All doctors don't keenly tell you anything unless if you ask, they'll be glad to answer.

I always wanted to join in the CME handled every morning at the hall by 8. I don't know what CME stands for, but I think it's Continuous Medical Education (I asked Dr. Carey, but she was not sure herself). During that CME, they'll review most of the cases presented at the department the day before and discuss about it. I am not sure how it goes, I should try to come before 8am and join them someday.

There's been a death

The red zone (critical/resuscitation), was merely free today. When I came, the zone was empty. Then came a mother with her crying baby boy. From lab tests, he was suspected pneumonia. Practically the doctors take long to intubate him and free his airway, with few jabs through his I.V line, and a little sedative and analgesic to keep him calm and doze off. Today, 2 babies were brought in. When the bell rang for 3 times again, an old lady was sent in collapsed by her neighbours. ABC were assess and resuscitations were done, nothing helped much, asystole and she died. Dr. Tan said she was actually brought in dead, nyawa-nyawa ikan gitu…

Then there was a 63 year old man came in with upper limb weakness, dilated pupils (too many signs to state em all here), which a tumor on the brain is found from the CT scan. There was also an Indian man (a barber originally from India) came with a Bell's Palsy. I knew it straight away that he was having a stroke. However though the doctor was suspecting a heart disease too since he had quite an abnormal picture from his ECG. I saw Dr Kas having quite a hard time deciding the finest treatment for this man, Streptokinase was one of many major choices, however it was hard for her to decide since the treatment comes with a serious side effect of cerebral hemorrhagic. Susah susssah…

Mistaken identity

Meanwhile, in the Yellow Zone, Dr Jaya was confused. He has a slip of blood test script in his hand. He looked around for the owner of that test, it belongs to the patient by the name Pasha Kaur Singh, no patients were found by that name. It also got to his nerves that the blood test result for the patient he attended was still not done yet. His patient's name is Nur Fasha. That lady was all day at the infusion bay, she was dehydrated due to a chronic diarrhea. At the infusion bay, she told me that she is on slimming tea which is a possible cause of her diarrhea. Dr Jaya didn't know about it, until I told him.

Cutting the crap, Pasha Kaur Singh and Nur Fasha is actually the same person. She converted, but the old and new data was overlapping, with the same IC number.

Semput!

I prefer attending the asthma bay, rather than tagging around in the Red Zone. At least there is something I can do besides observing and profusely ask questions to the forever busy doctors in confusion. At least I can sit and examine the patients, insert IVs and prepare the nebulizer mixtures. Doctors don't do that kind of procedures, these simple things are usually handled by M.A, before handing the patients to the doctors for further diagnosis and drugs prescription.

Dr Chen is the one in charge to take the responsibility over the asthma bay, when I first saw him early this week at the BLS class, I thought he was Jo! Johan Ariff! Sebijik okay!!!~ Oh well, since I was there to help him to look over the asthmatic patients on neb, he didn't have to run in and out of his office (examination cubicle) to check out on them. He also gave me the chance to listen to the patients' respiration (for wheezing and ronchi), and would take my opinion about what I heard and we will discuss for further actions. I feel appreciated for once. Before he went off, he tabs on my back and thank me for helping out. Aww… thanks to YOU Dr. Chen!

The Nut Case

"kau siapa?? Kau manusia ke??"

Unerringly, nothing came out of the 17 year old boy's mouth. Nothing but those 5 words. Two policemen came escorting him wearing the you know… that psychotic garb folding his body where belts were tighten so he can't move around freely. Pity him…

"Kau siapa?? Manusia ke?"

Rasa macam nak tergolek2 ketawa, but everyone seems calm, doing their own things. Mereka dah biasa… tapi kesian juga dekat 2 polis yang sentiasa melayan budak tu. Walaupun Si Nut tu dah nampak muka polis tu setiap masa, tapi setiap kali tengok polis tu Si Nut akan mengeluarkan soalan yang sama. Sampai… agaknya polis tu dah boring, dia pon cuba menggembirakan diri dia, bila ditanya (dalam nada tinggi)

Si Nut : kau siapa?? Manusia ke?!!

Polis : Tak, saya jin

Si Nut : kenapa kau jin??? Mana manusia semua??

Polis : asyik jadi manusia je. Kenapa la kau selalu tanya…

Sampai forever pun budak tu akan tanya (jerit actually) bende yang sama. Sampailah…

Si Nut : Kau siapa?? Manusia ke?!!

Mak : Ni mak lah! (dengan nada menyampah. Mak dia dah selalu sgt jawab soalan tu kot)

Si Nut : Mak, diaorg nak bunuh Si Nut!!!! aaaaRghh!

Mak : tak lah. Diaorg nak bagi ubat je (mak dia relax je)

Si Nut : Kalau si nut mati mcm mane?!

Mak : tak mati, ubat tu utk bagi Si Nut sihat je…

Si Nut : Kalau aku mati, siap korang semua!!!! Aku kerjakan!!!!!!!

Kelakar okay, kalau kau dah mati, macam mane nak kerjakan kita smua??! Rasa macam nak bukak and campak white coat ni and ketawa golek-golek atas lantai!!
Tapi, kenapa semua orang lain tak ketawa pon???!

Adik?!

Despite of being 23 years and 5 days, I instead feel like a frigging old fart.

It all started at the Chinatown this afternoon. Susan and I were walking about the Petaling Street when she suddenly saw a hawker stall selling that 'ice with greenish thing a.k.a chen-doll'. She tried that what we called 'cendol' and she liked it. Therefore she thought of getting another cendol. We went to that stall where an Indian male with a quite big figure was busy preparing, and when it came to my turn, I placed my order…

"Uncle, cendol 2, 1 tanak pulut, 1 kosong"

The 'man' turned to me and he said "Uncleeeee??! Kau panggil aku 'uncle'?"

He must have felt too old for that title. Since he seemed younger and deserved a better name, I guess 'abang' would be more appropriate.

"Oh sorry. Abang eh? 2 cendol okay?"

"Abang pulak dah… 'adik' jer lah!! Saya baru 20 tahun"

Oops, my bad. I didn't see him younger than I am, conceivably he was too dark that I couldn't distinguish our age gap. Indians sometimes do have large structure and do look older than their chronological age. However, what comes to my concern is, how could the 'boy' tell that he's younger than me, or in other word, I am older than him?

Waaa~ I ni nampak tua ke?

Oh wait, but today during breakfast with Susan and Robert, they looked kinda surprised to know that I'm 23. They're 22 by the way… they thought I'm younger. Maybe… maybe because they are smarter and I look kinda dumb. Or perchance, Malays are not as 'matured looking' as they are, Scottish and Irish.

Been great

Life has been great so far.

Everytime something cool happened, I told myself "I gotta blog this". As usual, the zest just didn't get translated into words once my fingers are laid down on this keyboard. My fingers got confused of which one to blog first. Therefore, I guess they are not telling any of the zealous things that happened for now. Maybe later… someday, InsyaAllah.

I'm enjoying myself and I'm loving every moment. I treasure every breath I take.

Happy Birthday

I want to be the last one to wish myself a Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Bil!!!!

Xoxo, Bil