Iota #11 – Overprotected

Waaa… macam nak demam dah!

Why 'macam'? Simply because my thermoregulation center up in my hypothalamus has been invaded by some nasty allergens that caused it to change its temperature set point, and it seems like my body is deceived by this false 'new set point' and currently doing some compensation. If only I could tell my body system… but I ain't no man-made machine.

First day at the medical dept, and I feel as if I was attacked by so many viruses, bacteria, and many other spiteful allergens…

Risky… whattodo?~ *sigh*

The afterMATHS

I am really bad at mathematics! When it comes to numbers, my brain got a sudden stump. Mathematic as a matter of fact, is very mystifying for my brain to accept. Calculators are indeed an amazing invention ever!

Yesterday, during jaga, just before we left, the specialist questioned us for one last time of what we have learnt so far in the Obstetrics & Gynecology dept. Aargh, it was 5 minutes passed 5 am, we were supposed to be gone already, I was extremely sleepy and the cold weather caused me a nasal obstruction. Dah la mata berat gile, kaki dah kebas-kebas, hidung tersumbat… tiba-tiba dia suruh kira-kira pulak!
She asked something like this…

"kalo mens terakhir ibu, 20 augustus 2008, kapan taksiran kelahiran bayinya?"

Oh mannnn, I know! I know! This is the easiest thing ever! I can use so many methods to get this answer – the 'count back method', the '40-week method', the '266-day method'.

But…
it all involves calculation. Terus mati mood. So I just kept quiet, standing still and let my other friends to answer that. Malas nak kira okay??! Bukan sebab I tak pandai or terlupa…~ whatever~ ambik la kau! Jawab la soalan tu, dapat la puji skit, kembang la skit! Bagi chance! Cepat-cepat la skit jawab, nak balik tidur!

So, my maths is really that bad, or was it just the 14-hour jaga aftermath? I believe, my brain is poorly designed for calculation.

Believe it or not, I never passed my addmaths during school, until I got a C for a few SPM trials and finally an A for SPM. Guess how much struggled it was? I was determined for an A, not because I fell in love with it, but it was for mama. Just because she was hoping and praying for it and paid RM60 per hour for my one-to-one addmaths tuition at home for so many hours, days, weeks and months, that she'd do everything to make me ace everything. If only my left brain was adequately designated for mathematics, she could have had saved that money and got herself at least one nice LV handbag, or a nice gateway around the world.

Maths… I'm still using my magical scientific fx-570MS calculator, even for a simple tally. It has been like 6-7 years but it never ran out of battery. Amazing kan?? Battery Casio ni bagus sangat ke? Tapi kenapa calculator Wawa yang baru 2 tahun tu haritu habis battery before dia SPM? Oh, she absorbed the energy from her calculator and kept it in her brain. No wonder she got 10As. Oh Camtu rupanya…

I get annoyed, and I wonder…

Notice :
This entry is a kind of controversy and one may find it disturbing and annoying. When reading this entry, sensitive readers are advised to take their heart off their sleeves. I have no attention of directing any of these points to anyone. This is just a dispensing of my sentiments into words and posted to my blog. Again, to my blog. However, I welcome opinions. And if any of you would like to dispense their own veiled emotions, please do so (in your own blog I supposed). Happy reading!

I get annoyed with ungrateful people. I wonder if they have eyes to look at others' unfortunate events.

I get annoyed with ants. I wonder where they came from, they always make special appearance in my room.

I get annoyed when I hear stumping footsteps on the staircase. I wonder if they ever hurt their heels and caused pressure up to their uterus.

I get annoyed when someone put the plates on the wrong side on the dishes tray. I wonder if they ever learn how to arrange stuffs in order at their kindergarten.

I get annoyed when I see knives in the spoon compartment. I wonder what's so difficult? The utilities compartment is just beside the cutleries compartment…

I get annoyed when I see stain in my mugs. I Clorox my mugs so they stay spotless clean.

I get annoyed when I see non-sleeping objects on my bed. Bed is strictly for sleeping and leisure around. I don't even wear jeans to bed.

I get annoyed with procrastinator. I am one, and I am annoying.

I get annoyed when I worry… it keeps me wondering, I hate curiosity.

I get annoyed when the launderette folds my clothes not on their folding lines. Tak tau lipat baju, bungkus je la dobi kau tu!

I get annoyed when I hear nonstop complaints about Indonesia and its system. I wonder if their whining will ever make any difference… I wonder if the Indonesian even cares about it, so why care so much?

I get annoyed when people keep comparing Malaysia and Indonesia. I wonder if there are two similar countries in the world. I wonder if they ever go to other countries.

I get annoyed when I see strands of hair clogging the water drain. I wonder who is that hoping for other people to clear up the clog.

I get annoyed when I see mess. I wonder if it is a real mess, or it's just me seeing things?

I get annoyed with people who don't cooperate in a team, or support the event organized. I wonder why they want to be apart of the organization then.

I get annoyed with excuses. I wonder why people have to live with it, and so am I.

I get annoyed with forgetful people. I wonder if it is terlupa or tak ingat. I am one, and I wonder if my brain is degrading.

I get annoyed with careless people. I wonder how many troubles they have caused other people.

I get annoyed with people who bossed around. I wonder if their dads would set up a company and appoint them as the biggest boss just to make them happy.

I get annoyed with Mr./Ms. Always Right. I wonder what the price of winning a pointless argument is.

I get annoyed of waiting. I wonder where the most punctual clock in the world is.

I get annoyed when I am expected to obey to futile rules. I wonder if it is a policy or it is just a prank system.

I get annoyed of people with screeching voices. I wonder if I can plan them for a vocal cord surgery.

I get annoyed of sycophants a.k.a attention seeker. I wonder where their parents are.

I get annoyed of snobs. I wonder if they ever need a weight to put their nose down with gravity.

I get annoyed of stalkers. I wonder if they actually adore the people they are stalking and wish to have the same lives as them.

I get annoyed of body odors. I wonder if they really are living in the 21^st century that they don't know what deodorants and shower gels are.

I get annoyed of extremist and anti-govs. I wonder if they ever tried a better life without what they have now. Keep on dreaming people!

I get annoyed with annoying people. I wonder if they are suffering from ADHD.

I get annoyed with someone who easily gets annoyed and uptight. I wonder if you are annoyed of me then…

Last but not least, just so you know, mugs, plates, cutleries, and the toilets don't just clean by themselves.

Second 14-hour

This is one of the very little books I've read (I don't read story books, novels, comics or anything that is non-fi). The Vagina Monologues – IT IS about the vaginas, on how ladies proudly describe it and tell stories of their own supposed-to-be-hush-hush. After setting eyes for quite a number of vaginas in these few days, I must say that vaginas are not as pretty as how they have been described in the book. Our holy gates to the world are indeed very ugly. Luckily I was born a girl, so I won't have to marry anyone with vagina.

My second 14 hours was quite an excitement – to have the chance to observe spontaneous labor, dystocia, IUFD (Intra Uterine Fetal Death), vacuum extraction and curettages on two abortion cases. Napping at the surau resulted body aches and cold feet (the observation room was full). On my next jaga, I'll bring some sleeping kit.

ENT lecture was a two-long hour bedtime story for me. I never had such a good sleep in lecture halls before… and I am certainly not to be blamed! Came back from the hospital at 5 am, class started at 7 am, next clerkship at 1pm. Ah! Nak tidoooooo!!!!

Retarded fringe

"segini?"

"ya, tapi lagi dikit"

*Chop chop chop*

"Udah?"

"mmm… pendek lagi dikiiiit"

*Chop chop chop*

"gini?"

"lagi dikittttt lagi"

*CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP*

"udah?"

Oh sh**!!!!

"ya udah udah!!!"

So, here's the result of the chopping job (a short fringe which makes me look more retard, rounder than ever!). Tu lah, betul kata nenek2. 'orang tamak selalu rugi!'
Rugi because the price of a hair cut is the same whether you cut off your whole hair off or just trimming or just trim your little fringe!

So, there was at the saloon – a little frustrated, a little moody, and it poured suddenly, so heavily. Lagi la frust, rosak la rambut kena hujan!!! Kesian Kak Nuzul kena a little tempias of my retarded fringe frustration. Luckily her manicure took quite a long time, so we had reason to wait til the rain stops. Then I was all fine after having the most expensive bakso I've ever had, but it was worth it, so it's okay. Boleh pegi lagi.

Oh no, besok jaga!!! Rugi je hairspa mahal2 harini, besok dah kusut masai! !^@&#$%*

Bil,
hairs don't grow overnight. Selamat ke kuliah besok!!!
Chill! ;*

Revenges in debt

Busuk!

One of the disadvantages of being taller than average, is that you can stand higher than the average peoples' head. Why is that a disadvantage?

If you stand close enough to someone with an average height (say in a crowd where everyone is trying to focus on something, of course you have to be polite and let the short statures people and dwarfs be in front of you) your head and the average/short height peoples' head are almost vertically parallel. By means, if you nod, your chin might hit their crown. In spite of hurting your chin, you can also sniff the aroma of their hairs. By chance, their hair is simply BUSUK!

Okay well, I didn't actually smell her hair cause that girl wears tudung. So, her tudung smells, busuk! How could I concentrate on what the doctor has to explain? Dah la doctor ni cakap slow semacam, if he was a radio, I'd take the remote control and turn him to the maximum volume and put an amplifier connect to a stereo. Then I started thinking of if I had the PS joystick I'd move her to somewhere further where the air is not strong enough to blow her odor anywhere close to my nostril.

Yucks, I hate smelly people! Not hygienic! Yea, I know that she is not hygienic, her white coat have that particular stains since last 3 days, the sleeves are dirty and she is always seen with that one particular tudung. Euuuu nak termuntah bau! If you smells, I warn you not come near me or I'll blog about your body odor! Do I sound so mean here? Who cares, this is my blog! and even if I don't blog about you, doesn't mean that you don't smell, cause sometimes I'd just like to be more confidential

***

My 'jaga' shift last 2 night was a humdrum, 14 hours wasted for 'nothing'. No parturitions at all! Three pregnant ladies – all for cesarean sections. Since we only allowed to either be in the labor room or the emergency unit, means we had no chance to observe the CS at the OT (operation theater). Instead of expecting births in the labor room, 2 babies died in the emergency (and one adult). Aww… so sad~ not so but yea, it was supposed to be sad to see the mother was tremendously miserable…

Oh yea, there was also a rape case. Where the victim was a dull brainless 13 year old girl. Ah, benci tanak crite!!! Bodoh sial!

Surprisingly, I didn't really feel sleepy. I managed to stay up til 3.30am when I finally drop dead in one of the bed in the observation room. At least there was a bed and pillow and the room is air conditioned *winK*

***

Today is supposed to be the revenge pay day. Gym – pasar – makan – saloon – tidur all day long. But seems like I better attend the seminar on Hepatitis since it seems to be more beneficial for me.

antara position fetus yang menyebabkan perut mak diaorg kena potong! yang atas tu tak tahan... sedapnya baring dkt bontot mak eh??

Iota #10 – First 14 hours

I wish there'll be a lot of parturitions tonight… all kind of partums! Not to pray for the worse for any patients, but these sick people somehow teach a lot.

Lowering down my anticipation for the emergency department, and know exactly where I am – Rumah Sakit Saiful Anwar, not HKL!

Oh Allah, please level up my human tolerances, I'll be working with that one particular a$$ for this coming 14 hours. Please, please!

18-something

Life is far from fun nowadays. I could sense the scent of aging coming the way, flabby tummy, sagging skins, constipation, joints problem…

I was bound to find out a 'What's your actual age' quiz on facebook, amazingly my actually age is eighteen. Yes, 18!
wEee!!! For a nick of time, I feel young. I didn't have much memory of my 18 years old. I was too busy devastating about my SPM results I reckon, that I missed an A, or else my record would be a Forever Straight Acer. College was too dull, it was in the hamlet area of Melaka and all I could do was to study and keep a close look on my weight. I jogged for half an hour none stop, everyday without miss, and if it was raining, I would run up and down the stairs til my knee got scrawny. That was among my eighteen, in Matriculation College (where baju kurung and tudung are compulsory), got kinda 'addicted' in blogging, with the lowest body weight I ever had, and braced teeth. gEe!!!

For now, at age of 23, my brain is virtually obstructed with medical stuff, like imagining myself as a doctor (but not fantasizing about it), just that – not studies. I hardly find times to study, and if there is, I would glad to jump into the cloud nine. All I could think of is mainly about sleeping. In spite of having sleepless afternoon (by no chance at all). Oh yea, yesterday, was my second time to hear another soreness sentence such as "mulai dari sekarang, biasakan diri anda untuk tidak tidur di waktu sore".
*diam terkaku*

Sometimes I wish I could go back and be 18 again. Oh wait, no no, not everything about 18, I just want the body weight actually. I worked out twice today. Nonetheless, a small sized lemon squeezed a way lot more juice that I could sweat. Not even half a tissue could get wet with my sweat *eye rolling*. I need heavier dumbbells, I want 5kgs, and I need an exercise mat.

Ask me why I have two weight scales? Simply because two is always better than one (?). Ah naa~ Actually because my second weight scale is pink and it has HANSON written on it.

The Vaginas’ Department

Two hours til my obstetric and gynaecology clerkship. Supposedly, I work on my presentation about gynaecology hemorrhages (which is to be presented tomorrow). Too bad I am not in the mood. Too bad Obgyn has not come to hit my interest yet (just yet), perhaps it scares me out. Especially when thinking that I'll be on 'jaga' this Thursday from 3 pm to 5 am. I repeat, til 5 in the morning. gRrrRr!!! Camne nak tido??~

And what more? Vaginas? Labors? Bloody shows? Screaming? Screeching? Pains? Untrimmed pubic hairs? Waaaaaaaaa! I don't like to see all these! And I am not yet excited about clerking in obgyn…

My ultimate aim for this department would be 'performing a vagina touché @ VT'. But I don't think they'll ever let…

They just don't know how competent I am in poking people's vaginas and anus. I've done PR @ Rectal touché twice, and got my fingers came out with feces and even bloody feces! And I kinda love poking!

I wonder how vaginas and sacrums feel like…

Out and about

I'm too worn out for today. Before I start writing a yard long entry, let me just summarized everything (unless if there will be something nice to tell and should blog about cases, then it will be another yard long entry).

7.00 am : Sh**! I'm late!!! But still couldn't manage to get up from bed. Therefore I need Zuff to make me finally get up and live my Saturday. After hung up, I got a call from a team mate asking my whereabouts.

"Oh ya, aku lagi on the way!
(I mean, on the way to the shower).

Kok ga dibales sms aku kelmarin
(trying to find a reason by blaming him for not giving me a further notice about our project today)"

Si dia "udah!!! Udah 2 kali kok aku sms kamu ingatin…"

"Masa sih? Ga dapet! Makanya aku fikir kita ga jadi ato gimana…" (alasan.. alasan untuk cover hidup – tapi mmg betul tak dpt sms pun!)

8.00 am : a glass of milk, few pieces of Biskuit Tiger and I'm off to the hospital.

8.05 am : First destination – the hospital. Aik? Mana smua orang?? Ceh, dah kena tinggal rupanya!!! Fyneeee~ (but I didn't care a bit, cause my group mates are all what you called 'skema', salah sikit nak takut, lambat sikit nak cuak). So, dengan relaxnya, I pun jalan mencari angkut.

8:30 am : Arrived at the kindergarten (second destination). TK Sang Timur. Nama tadika apa macam tu? Tak cute langsung. But trust me, the kids are totally cute and adorable, and the kindergarten was so nice! Way nicer than any kindergartens I've been to in Malaysia.

So, when I arrived, the specialist was still in the hall, giving some speech or direction or I don't know what to the parents. They haven't started yet! And my group mates were there, duduk melangok. Told ya, buatpe nak gelabah datang cepat2!

Overall, we were there to access the children by the KPSP program. Checking on their IQ and motoric movements. Awww, bestnya! I can't believe kids are actually that tiny and cute! Their cheeks are too endearing. Nasib mereka baik, kalau tak, mesti dah kena cubit2 and gigit2 dgn I!

10.00 am : Third destination – Matos. Some groceries shopping at Hypermart and new note books from Gramedia.

1.00 pm :
HOME! Made mushroom soup for lunch.

3.00 pm : Forth destination – Surau Campus for the PDA program. I'm not sure what PDA stands for, but it's an Al-Quran study, delving into the meaning of some surah. Harini pegi surau pakai selendang je, safety precautious in case of menguap besar. Setan gile!

4.30 pm : Fifth destination – old kost. Just to meet mbah! I actually miss mbah that much, everytime I look into the laundry basket, how I wish I could let mbah wash them all. She washes clothes like no one I know, so freaking clean!!! She folds so neatly, my clothes used to smell so nice and felt so soft. Especially now, I need her to at least wash my white coats… cause I am totally bad with Clorox or varnish or whatever it is.

5.30 pm : Sixth destination – Matos again. This time, I didn't buy anything. Zana needed to get a headphone and new mouse at the computer shop. Talking about that one particular computer shop, that bapak is one nice man…

6:30 pm : HOME finally~ and not going anywhere. I need to go to bed early. Going to the gym tomorrow and the juniors are coming for kolegalitas.

Wow, banyaknya tempat pergi harini. Tapi, tak penat pun walaupun tak tidur siang. Hehehe. Maybe because I met with a lot of pleasant people around, and not work around and stick for hours with some people. Even the angkut driver this morning was among the adorable ones. That old man (the angkut driver) won the sweetest smile award for today! That smile came with a matur nuwun, as I paid him the fare.

Alrite… I am finally exhausted and going off to bed!

Let’s sleep!

I love sleeping! Sleeping is like morphine for me. Wish I could do this forever…

Because when I sleep, I don't have to think of anything, absolutely nothing! My soul is at a total rest. My brain is wandering on its own. Just like how some people do it even when they are not sleeping – their brain is idle, amazing! However, I don't wish to be like that some people. Simply because my brain is mutually connected to my heart and concurrently work with my whole body system.

I wish I could be ignorance. At least it would make me stronger.

If sleeping is my bliss… then blogging is where I pour. I know it sounds kinda pathetic. But that's what happens when you have such pathetic people around you, and you don't need any ears to listen to what you have to say. Cause what you say, is nothing important to anyone, but you yourself. And what you feel is none of anybody's business, but you yourself.

So whatever happen, stay put. Hang on to yourself. Eventually, life is very individual.

Let's sleep!

Human, live with them! Or be alone.

Human – unfathomable.
(If you are not familiar with this word, it means 'impossible to come to understand')

Why must God created a surplus number of enigmatic human beings in this world with various kinds of complexity mindset?

Why was I not born to read people's mind?

Why do I always have to think and figure things out?

WHY – these questions remain questions, for forever. No, I don't need any answer.

Human, if you think that you are among the Homo sapiens, please don't ever embarrass yourself saying that you are simple. Absurd! No, humans are not even close to being simple, not even living a simple life.

I am neither going to tell the biological explanation of your complex anatomy nor the intricate physiology of your body system (it needs at least 5 years to do that), but if you can read this, I am sure you are a human being, please, stay knotty! We are meant to be, our life journey was predestined to be in full of twists and turns. Don't ever try to walk straight as it might worsen the kinks.

Human-sickness – a chronic persistent disease.

Every so often, we got sick of the people around us. Be it our own parents, spouse, teammates, even strangers. We are the vectors for our own named disease. How can we ever get rid of these people? We ourselves are a part of this ailment. It's human-sickness.

Do you ever loved someone (not talking about your imaginary friend or dead idol) so freaking much that there is never, not even an atom sized hatred nor a slight of irritation towards him/her? Holy if it's a yes (just so you know, it's very normal to say NO). No human is perfect, but yet no human is not wanting perfection, how sweet is that?

I am suffering – from an acute attack of human-sickness these few days. It's just too spiteful to have thought about it. Possibly, this disease is periodic, that it depends on my body system too. My immunity is lowering due to the stress elevation and lacking of evening naps. Maybe. Or perhaps, my human tolerance is just low…

SH**! Why do I always have to figure things out and in the end of the day, I am jeopardizing my own self! No way. This human-sickness is definitely caused by other humans who don't act so humanely, selfish, arrogant, egocentric, inconsiderate, insensitive, bigheaded, etc. And it is just happened that these people come at one shot, together boosting my immunity. Menguji kesabaran betul! Nasib baik I kuat iman.

Steadfastly, I am still here – wearing my daily face to get through this life. Sometimes, I live with them. Sometimes I be in my isolation cubicle, and be alone. Those are the only choices. Broken, mended, sealed – and so on, to the infinity.

Humans are unique. Some even wish to be as inimitable as God. Ridiculously hilarious!

I love humans. Just because…

Congratulations!!!

congratulations Najwa for your 9A1, 1A2!
We are very proud of you!!!

it's still 10As... your 'depresi berat' is paid off! :P

NO celebration nor party please! or at least, don't let me know... (nnt Ude yg depresi berat)

Iota #9 - Akibat menguap di surau

Sampai terkoyak telekung, part dekat dagu tu. Tak lah koyak rabak, tapi dah jadi longgar.

Cakap pasal longgar-longgar ni… terasa kurus pulak!

Anyway, Selamat menyambut Maulidur Rasul.

p/s: Tolong la print selawat tu besar-besar and clear skit. Kan dah tersasul-sasul kiteorg bace. Siapa yg salah? Kiteorg jugak~ siapa yang dosa? Wallahualam…~

Stolen Sunday

It's Sunday for crying out loud!!! And Sundays no more hold the same definition as how it has last time... at least I got to wake up one hour later than usual.

Walaupun pagi sibuk di hospital (takde la sibuk mane pon...), ada ke patut clerkship hari Ahad??! Oh, orang sakit tu hari-hari, takpe, bagi chance, tapi lepas balik dapat tidur. Tidur siang yang paaaling nikmat dalam minggu ni. Kan dah kata, kalau nak rasa kenikmatan tu, kena rasa kesusahan dulu. Baca pantun ni!

Berakit-rakit ke hulu,
Berenang-renang ke tepian,
Bersakit-sakit dahulu,
Bersenang-senang kemudian.

Betul ke naik rakit tu lebih sakit dari berenang?

Maybe kot, sebab naik rakit tu tak membakar banyak lemak macam berenang. Kalau berenang, boleh kurus. Kalau gemuk, memang sakit! Sakit jiwa memikirkan berat badan dan lemak-lemak yang dok menggelebeh dkt kulit. Sakit hati juga kalau baju atau jeans dah tak muat, tapi takde la sakit hati sampai cirrhosis... (boleh jadi jugak! cuba baca pathophysiology of Cirrhosis, bahaya tu sebab cirrhosis has no cure! waaa takutnyaaa gRrrr...)

Eh, baru pukul 10pm rupanya. Patut lah tak mengantuk lagi.

Tak mengantuk pun...

Tapi rasa macam nak tidur. Sebab tidur best!!!

Besok Maulidur Rasul, tapi still ada clerkship. Benci tau!!!

Maulidur Rasul tu kan birthday Nabi Muhammad, so nak la jugak celebrate. Tapi, takde la sampai ber-parrtyh kan? Nabi pun tak suka party-party ni, Nabi-lah je yang over sometimes... (like most of the time kot)

Okie, nak tidur! nak tidur jugak!!! Bed, here I comeeeee!

Going half way around the Globe

My left arm keeps cramping since this morning. Was I 'over doing it' at the gym just now? Or didn't I have enough warm up? Today's instructor was that 'syok sendiri' lady, I am not very keen with her, its just that she has better body than the other instructor.

During the aerobic session, I fantasize myself doing it in some other places but the studio (its too boring). At times, I imagine myself in Bali, exercising on a serene cleft, with gentle wind brushing my hair, and I breathe the morning dews, where the view is just the ocean. Add some pelicans and a placid ray of the sun raising that put the effects of horizontal orange to blue tone on the sky. Plus, the sound of wave clattering, birds chirping and not forgotten, a little resonance of the Bali exotic instruments far off the background. Ahh~

I also fantasized of The Great Wall of China and the mountain back of Himalayas. You know, these kinda places where engines and honk are forbidden, and cigar is just for warming. If I could yoga, or wai tang kung, tai chi, aerobic, (or anything excluding the treadmills, elliptical training machines or any other gym equipments) at these tranquility, I think I would want to live there, despite of their outmoded, conservative living! Really! (but I need the internet though).

Awww… bestnyaa~ mesti exercise hari-hari sampai kurus!!!

As usual, from the boring gym to the market – bought some cooking stuff. After making 'brunch', I rushed to clean myself up and ready for clerkship at 10 a.m. This is the first time my Saturday ever filled with some sort of 'educational' programs after so long, and so the coming Saturdays.

I went to the Pediatric/Neonates Intensive Care a.k.a Ruang 12. Wow, this is what you called hospital! I see those sophisticated machines and proper incubator boxes, and beds. I like! Feels like in the hospital… (or else, I'd feel like I'm in 'Rumah Sakit'
– a typical type of low class, long-established, conservative, outmoded kind of sanatorium).

Finally, after almost a week, I managed to stumble on some free time for groceries shopping at Giant. Got my essentials and nothing to worry about anymore. Phew~

Oh wait, my mom, sisters and aunts are supposed doing some wedding shopping in Jakarta now!!! Though we are on the same island now… I still can't feel that we are in close proximity. Sama saja!

Charade game in the HND

Finally, I got to shampoo my hair after a few days (+ tidur petang). Never thought that this thing is taking its toll on my hair! This clerkship thingy… I try my best to enjoy this first week (and another 7 weeks to come). Alas, it put an irritating itch on my scalp.

I might be missing the Malaysian Family Day this Sunday… urgh, I am just about to flaunt off my Sudoku skills which I inherited from my mom. I certainly not be able to get my so longed for hair spa this Saturday, I am not sure when I'll have time for groceries shopping. Nonetheless, I'll make sure to hit the gym this Saturday morning! My muscles are deteriorating while the fats are proliferating – this is my biggest stress!!!

Last Tuesday night in HND (High Nursing Dependency), I was asked to take a serial blood pressure for 1 hour of this one suspected dengue patient. Which means I had to be there by his bedside, observing his conscious status (besides taking serial BP), without missing a slight second. The mother was there accompanying him while staring at me. It was an inept of awkward moment.

Kenapa lah ibu ni tengok I semacam jer... lapar ke??

Slowly I looked up at her with a little forced of smile on my face. Wanted to start some conversation, but something was hindering – we will both get into the state of 'missing in translation'. I tried, it didn't work. I even tried some sign language using my hands and my full expressions face, I looked stupid. As if we were on a charade game. They are from Madura. They don't even speak Bahasa Jawa that well. Hesitantly, I had to pretend to understand with dubious nods. But one thing I could understand… (Somehow I managed to get her understand) that I was trying to ask 'what is her job', and she said "mintak-mintak lek Jalan Bandung".

Mintak-mintak???!!!

*flabbergasted for a few seconds*

She's a beggar!!!! Okay… calm down. It's not surprising. Here, 'begging' is a job. Job description : mintak-mintak, Address : Jalan Bandung.

Hmm… kesiannya!!!
No wonder she was staring at me with her pair of Puss In Boots eyes, that is a part of her job skill. Or could she be staring at my diamante watch?

Iota #8 – The Flummox

Yesterday during clerkship, Dr. Dafi said…

"Hadapilah kehidupan mu di masa jaga,

PANTANGKAN TIDUR SIANG"

Once his last sentence got into my ear, before it even reaches my brain, the words collided, striking my heart right away.

Oh no, this has taken the wind out of my sails…

Babies!!!

Somehow, I feel it's a must to blog about my first day of clerkship. Lets start it this way…

My group was suppose to meet in the pediatric meeting room at 1p.m. I can't detect what exactly was wrong with my hearing that made me heard as if it was 2 p.m and was very sure about it, condifent jerr. It was quite late when I realized about it, about 20 minutes late. Not a big deal I guess, it's normal here (but I was not delaying myself, I was just lost in time – very excusable, not jetlag).

There are actually a lot of us in a group, then we were divided into sub groups, and ended up in twosome. My partner is this guy which I am not going to put any comment about him in here, except that he's from the 'Batak' ethnic group. Hold on that thought! He is nice. I still in a piece.

Initially, we were supposed to clerk on the Gastroenterology division. However Dr. Astrid seems to enjoy both us so much that she sent us to clerk on one particular Neurologic patient who is suffering of Colic infantile. Not to say that I was not enjoying it, maybe just not 'totally' into it. Perhaps, it was the very poor condition of the hospital that came along to my concern. Kesian… but what to do~ *sigh*

I am not going to elaborate more on the condition of the hospital, it's hard to explain and it's even harder to bear working in such condition. If I were to state my deprivation, it would be an endless list of meager. Alas, who am I to critic? It is not all that important, as if I have a choice. Despite of this pitiable, I could feel mountains of hopes in every parent there and pure sincerity of the personnel. Yea, its not like they want to get sick and be sent to such place right? Bak kata Dayah, "tengok je hospital mcm tu, jadi semakin sakit ada lah". But, not on the mind of these poverty-stricken community, I guess, it's a privilege for them and that they are more than glad to be treated in such 'proper' place.

My night shift was at the Perinatology – BABIES!!!

This is in fact, a better place. Cleaner and quieter, except for some noticeable-but-ignorable screeches from the newborns. And… it was my very first time to witness a labor.
Subhanallah… dah tanak cite!
MAMMMMAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

I have to get used of their terms and abbreviations!! Pening dengar!

Beginning of 8th semester

Here I am

In the land where the risk of Kanker, serangan jantung, impotensi dan gangguan kehamilan dan janin are at its peak. I mean, MY risk of getting those nasty ailments in spite of being a second-hand smoker. Not forgotten, TB (Tuberculosis) too! Told ya, it is hard to breathe in here… klau tak bernafas kang, mati plak. Nak bernafas pun segan jugak dgn organ-organ dlm badan ni.

Well, these disgusting, cruel, coldblooded smokers are my number one detestation of living my healthy life here. They smoke everywhere! Trust me, I mean EVERYWHERE! sumpah everywhere! Even lecturers smoke in the lecture hall, examination hall, people smoke in the hospital, restaurant, airports, in YOUR house, in YOUR kids' bedroom, in front of YOUR foods, while cycling the trishaw, in the public transports, bla and bla and just about EVERYWHERE in this 735 355 sq mil realm. The people here breathe of nicotine and tar instead of pure air, and so am I.

My flying school bus has now seated the passengers by seat numbers. It does sound like an improvement in their service, but it fails to make me feel like riding on commercial airline (rather than just a flying school bus with ruthless bus conductors in red minis). When I first got to my seat, all I wished for was to get a pleasant seat partner instead of a safe journey.

I love window seat. Seeing the world in mini has made me realized how 'al-big' He is. Besides, being shined through give me the reason to put my shades on at all time and doze off. However though, very kind of me to let go my window and opt for the aisle seat to a mother with her 2 kids (or else they'd be separated by the aisle). So there was I, sitting by the aisle, didn't put my shades on and yet still managed a soundless sleep after helping myself with Chlorpheniramine Maleat – a flu drug which has a sedative effect. But that was not the reason, I actually took that med on Dr.Choo's advice to help release any nose congestion which will result on a raise in my intracranial pressure and thus put me on a killing headache (ref : Home and its definition)

Spending a night here, has taught me the meaning of spring bed and how it feels to sleep on a spring-less one. I am grateful of this little lesson, at least I am shown step by step. Who knows, my next lesson is to sleep on a mattress-less bed a.k.a the floor.

Not even a day to get my body a full adaptation to this place and there was my very first surgery lecture for this semester. Started at 7 a.m, a two hour straight. Alaa, 2 jam jer… and also today, will be my first day of clerkship. I'll be attending the pediatrics department for two weeks, starting with Gastrointestinal division for a week til Saturday. Means, I won't be around lazing anywhere in anytime in the evening.

This is my first day of 8^th semester, my first day of clerkship and I have to stay til 9 p.m. oh 'great'!

Nak tido siang jap! Wajib!